Alright, we finally turned it in, after several frenzied marathon all-nighters...
Which means I can finally start getting up more entries! Barring objections from my team, I will soon post the idea for our venture, so be on the lookout for that too!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Reader Responses - On Justin's comments
For those of you who haven’t read Justin’s response to my post on Patch Adams, please go do so now. I feel privileged to have such a great mind reading my blog, and the insight he packs into his response will be well worth your time.
Though his comments are not long, I will summarize them here for reference (and hopefully I will do them justice):
1 While revolutionary ideas often run counter to established professional opinion and come packaged with an “exclamation point,” they are also (and more importantly) justified on logical grounds.
My response to contrary professional opinion was immature, and I missed the biggest point of all – I failed to turn criticism into useful constructive criticism. Instead, I dismissed her and missed out on an opportunity to improve my idea.
2 I should take more care to understand where professional opinion comes from. “Not many professionals can stomach the idea that those who have not studied their field for as long as they have will have better insight than they do.” I am quite unqualified. Furthermore, I should recognize that professionals are extremely busy, and they may be too occupied with other things to “have the patience to entertain every radical idea that comes [their] way.”
3 I have not given readers any way to judge the situation – there lacks content, and no one even knows what my team’s idea actually is.
4 While strong assertions aren’t inherently bad, they have consequences for people. I borderline name-called, without much justification, and this was hypocritically reactionary. I should have been more considerate.
Here is my response to Justin’s comments:
1 I completely agree that substance trumps marketing for a venture like this. Although getting people to participate in our idea is very important (and here the revolutionary factor comes into play), no amount of participation will do anyone any good if the idea itself is weak. I certainly have not provided (on this blog) any hint of what my idea is, and therefore have not justified it on logical grounds. Hopefully I will do this soon – we turn in our application by December 15th, and as long as no one on my team objects, we likely will post our idea on this blog. I firmly believe that while it is inspired, it is also grounded heavily in logic. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s not mainstream already. Perhaps I am ignorant and am not aware that it has been tried and has failed. If that were the case, I would immediately think it to have been a failure in implementation. I truly believe that our idea, while radical compared to traditional interventions, is first and foremost a good idea. Intuitively and logically.
I agree, my post makes me sound like I failed to make use of her criticisms to improve my idea. Unfortunately, our conversation was so short (and over the phone), I really did not have much to work with. I would have loved to try to prod and pry more – both at her ideas and at my own (using her ideas). She truly did not offer much substantive criticism on the spot beyond what I have written on my blog. I actually took notes. Here is what she offered:
-I need to beware of the differences in types of stigma
-I should study the help-seeking process
-I should in general learn the science more
-In a brief discussion of the “HalfofUs campaign,” she warned that I shouldn’t “normalize being depressed,” which she believes is what the HalfofUs campaign (halfofus.com) does.
-What is most important is to “normalize getting help” – I agree with this completely, but I do not see how it is different from “overcoming the stigma.” When people use the phrase “overcome stigma,” they generally refer to the stigma to accept that one has a problem and then seek help for that problem. I think this is just a matter of semantics.
I am confident I would have made constructive use of her criticism if it had been at all possible. This is a personal philosophy I live by – I think it’s intuitively obvious that making good use of criticism is essential to learning. And there really was not enough substance for me to do this. She offered to send me some links to resources, but in the end she did not.
2 You are absolutely right. The fact is, she was incredibly kind to take time out of her busy schedule to speak with me in the first place. I feel so fortunate that there are people out there who are willing to help a random (uncredentialed) stranger like myself. And it is entirely possible I caught her at a bad moment (although we did schedule the conversation a week ahead of time).
3 You’re right. Perhaps I should not have written this post before posting my idea. It really is unfair for the readers, and I am sorry about that. I did want to post the bit about Patch Adams while it was fresh in my memory though. That was sort of time-sensitive.
4 You’re entirely right. I was completely out of line here. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself for disguising my anger with clever words. Words are powerful tools, and I’m sorry to have used them for crooked purposes. There is no justification for what I’ve done, except to say that I won’t let it happen again. And you’re right, I should listen to what everyone has to say (I’ve already addressed this a little – I really don’t think she offered much substance in our conversation, though I don’t mean this in an uppity way, and am simply doing my best to be objective). And there certainly are some fantastic psychiatrists/psychotherapists out there, who have helped many many people, and saved many many lives. I formally apologize to all of them.
So there it is.
Justin – I can’t properly express how much I appreciate your response. As I already mentioned in my immediate reply to your post, you have not only added great value to my blog, but have helped me develop as a person. I am incredibly grateful to you for this, and hope that I can return the favor someday.
I sincerely hope everybody learned as much as I did from this whole situation.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Though his comments are not long, I will summarize them here for reference (and hopefully I will do them justice):
1 While revolutionary ideas often run counter to established professional opinion and come packaged with an “exclamation point,” they are also (and more importantly) justified on logical grounds.
My response to contrary professional opinion was immature, and I missed the biggest point of all – I failed to turn criticism into useful constructive criticism. Instead, I dismissed her and missed out on an opportunity to improve my idea.
2 I should take more care to understand where professional opinion comes from. “Not many professionals can stomach the idea that those who have not studied their field for as long as they have will have better insight than they do.” I am quite unqualified. Furthermore, I should recognize that professionals are extremely busy, and they may be too occupied with other things to “have the patience to entertain every radical idea that comes [their] way.”
3 I have not given readers any way to judge the situation – there lacks content, and no one even knows what my team’s idea actually is.
4 While strong assertions aren’t inherently bad, they have consequences for people. I borderline name-called, without much justification, and this was hypocritically reactionary. I should have been more considerate.
Here is my response to Justin’s comments:
1 I completely agree that substance trumps marketing for a venture like this. Although getting people to participate in our idea is very important (and here the revolutionary factor comes into play), no amount of participation will do anyone any good if the idea itself is weak. I certainly have not provided (on this blog) any hint of what my idea is, and therefore have not justified it on logical grounds. Hopefully I will do this soon – we turn in our application by December 15th, and as long as no one on my team objects, we likely will post our idea on this blog. I firmly believe that while it is inspired, it is also grounded heavily in logic. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s not mainstream already. Perhaps I am ignorant and am not aware that it has been tried and has failed. If that were the case, I would immediately think it to have been a failure in implementation. I truly believe that our idea, while radical compared to traditional interventions, is first and foremost a good idea. Intuitively and logically.
I agree, my post makes me sound like I failed to make use of her criticisms to improve my idea. Unfortunately, our conversation was so short (and over the phone), I really did not have much to work with. I would have loved to try to prod and pry more – both at her ideas and at my own (using her ideas). She truly did not offer much substantive criticism on the spot beyond what I have written on my blog. I actually took notes. Here is what she offered:
-I need to beware of the differences in types of stigma
-I should study the help-seeking process
-I should in general learn the science more
-In a brief discussion of the “HalfofUs campaign,” she warned that I shouldn’t “normalize being depressed,” which she believes is what the HalfofUs campaign (halfofus.com) does.
-What is most important is to “normalize getting help” – I agree with this completely, but I do not see how it is different from “overcoming the stigma.” When people use the phrase “overcome stigma,” they generally refer to the stigma to accept that one has a problem and then seek help for that problem. I think this is just a matter of semantics.
I am confident I would have made constructive use of her criticism if it had been at all possible. This is a personal philosophy I live by – I think it’s intuitively obvious that making good use of criticism is essential to learning. And there really was not enough substance for me to do this. She offered to send me some links to resources, but in the end she did not.
2 You are absolutely right. The fact is, she was incredibly kind to take time out of her busy schedule to speak with me in the first place. I feel so fortunate that there are people out there who are willing to help a random (uncredentialed) stranger like myself. And it is entirely possible I caught her at a bad moment (although we did schedule the conversation a week ahead of time).
3 You’re right. Perhaps I should not have written this post before posting my idea. It really is unfair for the readers, and I am sorry about that. I did want to post the bit about Patch Adams while it was fresh in my memory though. That was sort of time-sensitive.
4 You’re entirely right. I was completely out of line here. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself for disguising my anger with clever words. Words are powerful tools, and I’m sorry to have used them for crooked purposes. There is no justification for what I’ve done, except to say that I won’t let it happen again. And you’re right, I should listen to what everyone has to say (I’ve already addressed this a little – I really don’t think she offered much substance in our conversation, though I don’t mean this in an uppity way, and am simply doing my best to be objective). And there certainly are some fantastic psychiatrists/psychotherapists out there, who have helped many many people, and saved many many lives. I formally apologize to all of them.
So there it is.
Justin – I can’t properly express how much I appreciate your response. As I already mentioned in my immediate reply to your post, you have not only added great value to my blog, but have helped me develop as a person. I am incredibly grateful to you for this, and hope that I can return the favor someday.
I sincerely hope everybody learned as much as I did from this whole situation.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Events – Patch Adams, M.D.
Tuesday evening, Patch Adams came to Brandeis.
Patch Adams MD, that is. Not Robin Williams. For those of you who don’t know who Mr. Adams is, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patch_Adams. Among the interesting tidbits about him is that he is a descendant of our second and sixth presidents, John and John Quincy Adams.
The first thing you notice about Patch when he walks in (I feel like if your name is Patch Adams, you can’t really properly be called anything but Patch) is his attire.
A potpourri of colors jumps from his clothing, the actual articles themselves of unusual varieties as well. The two things that struck me most were the frayed rainbow epaulets, and then his Donald Duck tie – Donald jumping and screaming for joy at the base of the swirly-color-fusion tie.
But then Patch starts to speak, and you can tell it's not just his clothing that distinguishes him. No, it his thought that distinguishes him, a much more potent form of distinction than mere artificial skin.
HE FIRST SPOKE of the hospital he started over 30 years ago – the Patch Adams Free Hospital in Pocahontus County, West Virginia (one of the, if not the, poorest states in the US). It’s certainly a very distinctive hospital, for many reasons. Among them:
- It’s free. And they don’t deal w/insurance companies.
-They don’t carry malpractice insurance. And yet they’ve never been sued.
-It’s the only silly hospital in the world. (“Because there’s never been any proof ever that seriousness does anyone any good. That seriousness has any value in any situation whatsoever.”)
Patch spoke extensively about his vision for the hospital, and how it evolved. As a bright young med student, he had major qualms w/the state of medical education. To quote: “90% of my medical school professors were white arrogant pricks.”
He spoke of how medical education didn’t teach jack about humanity and empathy, but that his “mom taught him how to be with a human,” and that if one simply projected a countenance of empathy and understanding, all the necessary questions could be answered, medical protocol tossed aside.
Some of his statements and hospital procedures (“barf-along-with-bulimics” and chaining depressed people to his wrist and forcing them along a joy walk) were quite radical, but I agreed wholeheartedly with the spirit of his discourse.
Among the catchphrases I liked:
-We need to foster fabulous living
-All you need is food and a friend – if you’ve got that, what are you bitching about?
But then Patch started to speak in depth about his experiences with issues of mental health, and specifically with depression, and my interests perked up even more than they already were perked.
Patch believes that depression should never be thought of as an illness. Furthermore, he thinks that mental health is something that can and needs to be constructed. That is, there are components of mental health that you can actively build.
Among the components/building blocks he rattled off:
-Joy
-Passion
-Curiosity
-Love
-Devoting some part of your life in service to others
Now, I’d been itching to speak up for quite some time. There were too many parallels between his story and his views and my own story and views that I just had to raise my hand.
And that’s when he opened up the floor for questions.
In situations like this one, there are always a few brave (and prepared) souls who take one for the team and break the verbal ice. I admit, on this particular occasion I didn’t do it, mainly because I had so much to say I didn’t even know where to start.
But after a few quick ones (though Patch answers all questions in great depth – once he starts he just keeps going, linking one thought to another), I found a natural lull in the group dialogue.
So I popped in there.
I guess it was sort of a selfish question. But I do think it – both my spiel and Patch’s reply – was educational for everyone involved, or at least those who were listening and didn’t zone out the rando (me) in the front row.
Essentially, I introduced myself, then said, “Can you hear out my proposal for a social venture that will revolutionize the way college depression is treated?”
(Oh boy, now I have to do public speaking. SO not my forte.)
Now, in terms of my venture and my team, sometimes I don’t really know what I have to offer. I don’t have the technical skills (shoutout to Colin and Hari), the business skills and knowledge, (Dan and Hari, and also Colin), or even the network of helpful people that a college provides access to (again, everyone but me).
But I do think about the issues involved in our venture constantly, so that ideas are always swirling around in my head, ready to surface at any given moment. And that’s exactly what happened.
I started off slow, fumbling with attempts at concision, but then decided to just free up and put out what I had for the masses, jumping from one idea to the next, until by the end of my pitch I had conveyed at least the gist, if not the logistics, of our business idea.
For reasons of us being in relative stealth mode, I’m not going to fully publicize our idea right now. But it definitely incorporated many aspects of Patch’s philosophies.
Patch’s response was so incredibly encouraging.
Now, I’m not trying to be arrogant or almighty when I say that I think our approach to treating depression in college students (and hopefully eventually others) will be revolutionary.
I truly believe it.
And it’s not that we concocted a brilliant mastermind scheme. No, all of the elements of our solution already existed, if only as disjointed and scattered fragments.
But no one (wise) says you should reinvent the wheel every time you try to do something.
Screw that. We just threw some good things together.
But like with any other revolutionary idea, you’re going to get heat for it. In fact, if you don’t get heat for it, you might not be on to anything good. Here’s what Dan tells me Guy Kawasaki (Silicon Valley venture capitalist, among other things) has to say on how to test for a strong idea:
“If your idea is strong – it should engender either terror or indignation in the established professionals.”
I recently spoke with an established professional – someone who dedicated a large portion of her life to helping people overcome depression – about the idea for our social venture.
Now, don’t get me wrong – she seemed to be an exceedingly kind and well-meaning person. Furthermore, I have enormous respect for her, as I do for anyone who chooses to dedicate so much of their life to helping others overcome their difficulties.
But her response to my idea was almost entirely reactionary. Frankly, she didn’t even let me explain the bulk of my idea.
The moment I began to discuss the drawbacks to traditional interventions for depression – drugs and therapy – she jumped in with criticisms. There’s no need to rehash the specifics. It can be summed up to:
You don’t know anything about anything.
You’re too young. Too uneducated. Too entirely ignorant.
Not only was my idea garbage, but by the simple act of my (partially) conveying it to her, I managed to both “disturb” and “offend” her.
Now to be fair, I am a biased human being. I am the one who gets to represent the conversation on my blog. You’re reading my version of the events.
And, as I already mentioned, she seemed to be a kind person, and she did try to educate me a little about the various types of stigma, and about the importance of understanding the help-seeking process (she pointed me towards a paper by an eminent academic).
Personally, I think it’s not so good to get stuck on theory and definitions. But I certainly will read the material if she ever sends the links she promised to send (they’re a bit overdue). I’m a curious person, and I love to learn things, especially if they are at all relevant to something I am trying to accomplish.
But I must be honest. A part of me was raging on the inside.
Not the kind of primal rage you direct against someone or something. No, it was the kind of eternal rage that stays with you forever, smoldering deep within your being, but that on acute occasions gets brought to full flame.
I do not hesitate to express my belief that reactionary professionals and content VIPs are the cause for much suffering in the world.
People who get comfortable in positions of power often refuse to roll with the changes that are desperately needed to lift up the rest of the world. In fact, they often actively impede progress.
This is unacceptable.
Because they are the very ones who should strive the hardest to push for revolutionary change. Power is responsibility.
If the circumstances had been different, I might have lost it and said something I’d regret. I can be pretty volatile when I speak about things I’m passionate about, especially when someone is being egregiously small-minded.
But I’ve made real strides in controlling that liability. And we all know anger usually doesn’t do a damn thing to help a situation.
“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. “
-Albert Einstein
So I kept my cool. I became more polite than I usually am in these situations.
Even as she insulted me. Even when she insinuated that I’ve never had any first-hand experience with depression. Even when she started providing unsolicited resume details. Which frankly is completely irrelevant to the task at hand.
("Now I have extensive experience with this matter, and in the past have been a therapist, and now work in public health, and I am a very successful person...").
I’m sorry, resumes are nice, but they don’t really mean squat when it comes to solving the important challenges of today.
In case you couldn’t tell, I’m finding it hard to keep my cool now, just thinking about the discussion. That’s how much small-minded people bother me. So I’m going to do the healthy thing and move on. Back to Patch.
Patch encouraged me to “keep running social experiments.” He told me to run them on myself, to run them on others, and to write him about the results (he doesn’t do email, but returns every single letter sent to him).
I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the term “social experiment,” but he’s right.
Psychiatry is so young it’s practically bullshit, and it seems no one really knows what’s going on.
You should hear psychiatrists talk when they reach for the pad, whip out that pen, and start writing the scrip. Their voices often go all authoritative, as they rattle off dosages like they were reciting mathematical truths.
How can you lie to yourself like that? At best it’s an educated guess.
So admit it, and do your best to be a human and decipher what the patient really needs, in addition to following medical protocol.
Any truly effective large-scale solution will inevitably be a social experiment when it is first implemented.
I am fully aware that any steps I take to implement our solution will likely have enormous consequences – positive or negative. I do not take this responsibility lightly.
Still, I have so much faith and sheer belief in our idea that no amount of criticism from important people will stop me from trying it. At least not until they give me a real reason, after actually hearing the entire idea.
And don’t get me wrong – I don’t completely identify with Patch Adams just because he encouraged my efforts. I greatly admire the man for how he lives his life, but personally I think he might be more effective if he considered the financial side at least a little. Money is the oxygen that sustains the life of any venture. Or so I hear, at least (too inexperienced to tell).
As I write these words now, it strikes me that there will be those who will think me an arrogant prick for making such declarations as an untested neophyte.
These people don’t understand the process of learning and growing.
There is no need to fear making bold statements.
I believe you learn best by stepping outside your comfort zone and declaring your beliefs firmly, out in the open for all to see and hear. Then you let everybody attack you, and when you try to defend the idea that you have so boldly asserted, you learn real quick if it was as good as you thought it was. You adjust and move on with version 2.0 of your idea. REPEAT.
It’s the same as how standup comedians learn when they first get into the business. They get hollered at and chased off stages. And they get real funny, real fast, or they quit.
That’s how progress works. It’s not about tender egos and trifling shit. That’s for the small people.
I am willing and even eager to make all sorts of errors for the sake of my venture. For the sake of improving my idea so that it meshes with reality – not fantasy, nor tidy theory. For the sake of helping those who want to unleash their potential unleash it.
I recognize that in the process I will inevitably offend some important people, step on some pedicured toes. Oh well.
Here’s a quote I like on sacrificing your own “dignity” for a greater cause:
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
-George Bernard Shaw
I don’t care how much of a presumptive ass I appear to be as I learn and grow, or how much people attack me for it. Because I know that if I am wrong, I will change and move on. I will continue to make bold assertions and thereby apply positive pressure on myself to improve and reform.
And you know what?
One day I’ll stop sounding like an ass, and I’ll start sounding wise. Because I'll have made many many mistakes, and I'll have made them with reverence for their consequences.
Patch certainly saw this spirit of reflective experimentation in my venture. He definitely liked it.
His last words to me:
“What you are doing is a beautiful thing.”
Looks like my team and I aren't alone.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Patch Adams MD, that is. Not Robin Williams. For those of you who don’t know who Mr. Adams is, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patch_Adams. Among the interesting tidbits about him is that he is a descendant of our second and sixth presidents, John and John Quincy Adams.
The first thing you notice about Patch when he walks in (I feel like if your name is Patch Adams, you can’t really properly be called anything but Patch) is his attire.
A potpourri of colors jumps from his clothing, the actual articles themselves of unusual varieties as well. The two things that struck me most were the frayed rainbow epaulets, and then his Donald Duck tie – Donald jumping and screaming for joy at the base of the swirly-color-fusion tie.
But then Patch starts to speak, and you can tell it's not just his clothing that distinguishes him. No, it his thought that distinguishes him, a much more potent form of distinction than mere artificial skin.
***
HE FIRST SPOKE of the hospital he started over 30 years ago – the Patch Adams Free Hospital in Pocahontus County, West Virginia (one of the, if not the, poorest states in the US). It’s certainly a very distinctive hospital, for many reasons. Among them:
- It’s free. And they don’t deal w/insurance companies.
-They don’t carry malpractice insurance. And yet they’ve never been sued.
-It’s the only silly hospital in the world. (“Because there’s never been any proof ever that seriousness does anyone any good. That seriousness has any value in any situation whatsoever.”)
Patch spoke extensively about his vision for the hospital, and how it evolved. As a bright young med student, he had major qualms w/the state of medical education. To quote: “90% of my medical school professors were white arrogant pricks.”
He spoke of how medical education didn’t teach jack about humanity and empathy, but that his “mom taught him how to be with a human,” and that if one simply projected a countenance of empathy and understanding, all the necessary questions could be answered, medical protocol tossed aside.
Some of his statements and hospital procedures (“barf-along-with-bulimics” and chaining depressed people to his wrist and forcing them along a joy walk) were quite radical, but I agreed wholeheartedly with the spirit of his discourse.
Among the catchphrases I liked:
-We need to foster fabulous living
-All you need is food and a friend – if you’ve got that, what are you bitching about?
But then Patch started to speak in depth about his experiences with issues of mental health, and specifically with depression, and my interests perked up even more than they already were perked.
Patch believes that depression should never be thought of as an illness. Furthermore, he thinks that mental health is something that can and needs to be constructed. That is, there are components of mental health that you can actively build.
Among the components/building blocks he rattled off:
-Joy
-Passion
-Curiosity
-Love
-Devoting some part of your life in service to others
Now, I’d been itching to speak up for quite some time. There were too many parallels between his story and his views and my own story and views that I just had to raise my hand.
And that’s when he opened up the floor for questions.
In situations like this one, there are always a few brave (and prepared) souls who take one for the team and break the verbal ice. I admit, on this particular occasion I didn’t do it, mainly because I had so much to say I didn’t even know where to start.
But after a few quick ones (though Patch answers all questions in great depth – once he starts he just keeps going, linking one thought to another), I found a natural lull in the group dialogue.
So I popped in there.
I guess it was sort of a selfish question. But I do think it – both my spiel and Patch’s reply – was educational for everyone involved, or at least those who were listening and didn’t zone out the rando (me) in the front row.
Essentially, I introduced myself, then said, “Can you hear out my proposal for a social venture that will revolutionize the way college depression is treated?”
(Oh boy, now I have to do public speaking. SO not my forte.)
Now, in terms of my venture and my team, sometimes I don’t really know what I have to offer. I don’t have the technical skills (shoutout to Colin and Hari), the business skills and knowledge, (Dan and Hari, and also Colin), or even the network of helpful people that a college provides access to (again, everyone but me).
But I do think about the issues involved in our venture constantly, so that ideas are always swirling around in my head, ready to surface at any given moment. And that’s exactly what happened.
I started off slow, fumbling with attempts at concision, but then decided to just free up and put out what I had for the masses, jumping from one idea to the next, until by the end of my pitch I had conveyed at least the gist, if not the logistics, of our business idea.
For reasons of us being in relative stealth mode, I’m not going to fully publicize our idea right now. But it definitely incorporated many aspects of Patch’s philosophies.
Patch’s response was so incredibly encouraging.
Now, I’m not trying to be arrogant or almighty when I say that I think our approach to treating depression in college students (and hopefully eventually others) will be revolutionary.
I truly believe it.
And it’s not that we concocted a brilliant mastermind scheme. No, all of the elements of our solution already existed, if only as disjointed and scattered fragments.
But no one (wise) says you should reinvent the wheel every time you try to do something.
Screw that. We just threw some good things together.
But like with any other revolutionary idea, you’re going to get heat for it. In fact, if you don’t get heat for it, you might not be on to anything good. Here’s what Dan tells me Guy Kawasaki (Silicon Valley venture capitalist, among other things) has to say on how to test for a strong idea:
“If your idea is strong – it should engender either terror or indignation in the established professionals.”
I recently spoke with an established professional – someone who dedicated a large portion of her life to helping people overcome depression – about the idea for our social venture.
Now, don’t get me wrong – she seemed to be an exceedingly kind and well-meaning person. Furthermore, I have enormous respect for her, as I do for anyone who chooses to dedicate so much of their life to helping others overcome their difficulties.
But her response to my idea was almost entirely reactionary. Frankly, she didn’t even let me explain the bulk of my idea.
The moment I began to discuss the drawbacks to traditional interventions for depression – drugs and therapy – she jumped in with criticisms. There’s no need to rehash the specifics. It can be summed up to:
You don’t know anything about anything.
You’re too young. Too uneducated. Too entirely ignorant.
Not only was my idea garbage, but by the simple act of my (partially) conveying it to her, I managed to both “disturb” and “offend” her.
Now to be fair, I am a biased human being. I am the one who gets to represent the conversation on my blog. You’re reading my version of the events.
And, as I already mentioned, she seemed to be a kind person, and she did try to educate me a little about the various types of stigma, and about the importance of understanding the help-seeking process (she pointed me towards a paper by an eminent academic).
Personally, I think it’s not so good to get stuck on theory and definitions. But I certainly will read the material if she ever sends the links she promised to send (they’re a bit overdue). I’m a curious person, and I love to learn things, especially if they are at all relevant to something I am trying to accomplish.
But I must be honest. A part of me was raging on the inside.
Not the kind of primal rage you direct against someone or something. No, it was the kind of eternal rage that stays with you forever, smoldering deep within your being, but that on acute occasions gets brought to full flame.
I do not hesitate to express my belief that reactionary professionals and content VIPs are the cause for much suffering in the world.
People who get comfortable in positions of power often refuse to roll with the changes that are desperately needed to lift up the rest of the world. In fact, they often actively impede progress.
This is unacceptable.
Because they are the very ones who should strive the hardest to push for revolutionary change. Power is responsibility.
If the circumstances had been different, I might have lost it and said something I’d regret. I can be pretty volatile when I speak about things I’m passionate about, especially when someone is being egregiously small-minded.
But I’ve made real strides in controlling that liability. And we all know anger usually doesn’t do a damn thing to help a situation.
“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. “
-Albert Einstein
So I kept my cool. I became more polite than I usually am in these situations.
Even as she insulted me. Even when she insinuated that I’ve never had any first-hand experience with depression. Even when she started providing unsolicited resume details. Which frankly is completely irrelevant to the task at hand.
("Now I have extensive experience with this matter, and in the past have been a therapist, and now work in public health, and I am a very successful person...").
I’m sorry, resumes are nice, but they don’t really mean squat when it comes to solving the important challenges of today.
In case you couldn’t tell, I’m finding it hard to keep my cool now, just thinking about the discussion. That’s how much small-minded people bother me. So I’m going to do the healthy thing and move on. Back to Patch.
Patch encouraged me to “keep running social experiments.” He told me to run them on myself, to run them on others, and to write him about the results (he doesn’t do email, but returns every single letter sent to him).
I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the term “social experiment,” but he’s right.
Psychiatry is so young it’s practically bullshit, and it seems no one really knows what’s going on.
You should hear psychiatrists talk when they reach for the pad, whip out that pen, and start writing the scrip. Their voices often go all authoritative, as they rattle off dosages like they were reciting mathematical truths.
How can you lie to yourself like that? At best it’s an educated guess.
So admit it, and do your best to be a human and decipher what the patient really needs, in addition to following medical protocol.
Any truly effective large-scale solution will inevitably be a social experiment when it is first implemented.
I am fully aware that any steps I take to implement our solution will likely have enormous consequences – positive or negative. I do not take this responsibility lightly.
Still, I have so much faith and sheer belief in our idea that no amount of criticism from important people will stop me from trying it. At least not until they give me a real reason, after actually hearing the entire idea.
And don’t get me wrong – I don’t completely identify with Patch Adams just because he encouraged my efforts. I greatly admire the man for how he lives his life, but personally I think he might be more effective if he considered the financial side at least a little. Money is the oxygen that sustains the life of any venture. Or so I hear, at least (too inexperienced to tell).
As I write these words now, it strikes me that there will be those who will think me an arrogant prick for making such declarations as an untested neophyte.
These people don’t understand the process of learning and growing.
There is no need to fear making bold statements.
I believe you learn best by stepping outside your comfort zone and declaring your beliefs firmly, out in the open for all to see and hear. Then you let everybody attack you, and when you try to defend the idea that you have so boldly asserted, you learn real quick if it was as good as you thought it was. You adjust and move on with version 2.0 of your idea. REPEAT.
It’s the same as how standup comedians learn when they first get into the business. They get hollered at and chased off stages. And they get real funny, real fast, or they quit.
That’s how progress works. It’s not about tender egos and trifling shit. That’s for the small people.
I am willing and even eager to make all sorts of errors for the sake of my venture. For the sake of improving my idea so that it meshes with reality – not fantasy, nor tidy theory. For the sake of helping those who want to unleash their potential unleash it.
I recognize that in the process I will inevitably offend some important people, step on some pedicured toes. Oh well.
Here’s a quote I like on sacrificing your own “dignity” for a greater cause:
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
-George Bernard Shaw
I don’t care how much of a presumptive ass I appear to be as I learn and grow, or how much people attack me for it. Because I know that if I am wrong, I will change and move on. I will continue to make bold assertions and thereby apply positive pressure on myself to improve and reform.
And you know what?
One day I’ll stop sounding like an ass, and I’ll start sounding wise. Because I'll have made many many mistakes, and I'll have made them with reverence for their consequences.
Patch certainly saw this spirit of reflective experimentation in my venture. He definitely liked it.
His last words to me:
“What you are doing is a beautiful thing.”
Looks like my team and I aren't alone.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Update – It’s crunch time for the Unreasonable Institute
So just a heads up for all you relentlessly faithful readers (that’s right, I went there…I presumed):
For the next ten days I’m going to be pulling overtime working on my application to the Unreasonable Institute. I’m going to pummel the damn clock. (last night Dan and I did 9 straight hours until they kicked us out of the library, 6 of which were pure work)
Which means I’m sorry if I can’t put out as many quality blog entries as I would be able to otherwise. Don’t stop reading on me!
Now, I’ve been trying to decide whether it would compromise the quality of this blog if I used it as a platform to solicit favors. It’s sort of pathetic, but I’ve resolved that I want to get into Unreasonable so bad that I’m gonna go for it.
So with that in mind, here is a request for a favor I originally put on Facebook (if we're not friends, friend me! David Hu, University of Chicago, Rutgers):
HEY GUYS AND GIRLS,
First off, I just want to say thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I’m not trying to go all sentimental or anything, but it really means a lot to me.
And now, I have a HUGE favor to ask.
So I don’t know if any of you know about it, but there’s this thing called the Unreasonable Institute. Check it out, it’s a sweet opportunity for the word’s leading young social entrepreneurs (ages 20-30).
http://unreasonableinstitute.org/
What it is: A 10-week summer institute for 25 high-impact social entrepreneurs. Fellows get skill training and mentorship from baller entrepreneurs. At the end of the institute, they get connections to start-up capital and a global network of support.
Who they’re looking for: “We are looking for the world's most unreasonable, bold, and relentlessly determined young social entrepreneurs”
It costs $6500 to attend (which I certainly don’t have), but you can’t pay to attend, even if you wanted to. That’s how sick this thing is – real life investors invest in you (your personality + ideas), and they pay your tuition.
Now I have no business experience, nor a college degree, nor anything else tangible. However, I do have the motivations, the smarts, the persistence, the story, and the talent to make this thing, as many very smart people have told me. And I have some very promising ideas, though unfortunately I can’t reveal them now (we’re in stealth mode). You’re going to have to trust me when I say they’re good innovative ideas, and I may even put them on my blog after this whole application process is over. (In case it's not already clear from the blog, my Unreasonable Venture will help the motivated depressed college student overcome the debilitating adversity of depression)
However, due to my aforementioned youthful inexperience, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.
MY REQUEST
Can you all petition the Unreasonable Institute to accept me? They determine the 50 finalists, and after that it’s all open to the investor’s market, but I really really want to make the top 50.
You can either send an email to them (+1 cool point)
Or a personal letter (+5 cool points)
Or you can start a petition at your school, and get mad people to sign it, and send that. People will sign anything you shove in their face, for the most part (+ infinite cool points).
CONTACT INFO
wisdom@unreasonableinstitute.org
Unreasonable Institute
1305 College Ave, #150
Boulder, CO 80302
or just check the site for the contact info
http://www.unreasonableinstitute.org/get-in-touch/contact-us
Now I’m giving you guys a lot of advance warning time. The application is due 12/15, and they consider the applications for I think a month or so after that.
But ideally, I’d want you to submit these petitions (no matter the form) around the neighborhood of December 10th – December 15th. But really, you can submit them whenever the hell you want/remember to, and I'll be ECSTATIC.
So,
If you knew me in high school, or in college (whether Chicago or Rutgers), or just randomly in life, or if you like my blog, PLEASE CONSIDER DOING ME THIS HUGE FAVOR.
Tell them how I’m a sweet human being, how I’m weird and individualistic and socially awkward and like to play ultimate and bike. Tell them you dig my blog (I know you do, because you joined this group). Tell them any positive thing you can think about me.
Remember that in a year, I'll be homeless and unemployed and w/o a college degree or any sort of defined future.
So PLEASE DO ME THIS HUGE SOLID, AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU’RE GONNA DO IT TOO, BECAUSE IF IT’S ONLY A FEW OF YOU, THEN I'LL JUST LOOK LIKE A HUGE TOOL.
Thank you so much again for reading my blog, and for (possibly) doing this!
Love,
Dave
P.S. Shoutout to Arj and Sasha for already replying! Petition count so far: at least 91!
[nsn_quick_feedback]
For the next ten days I’m going to be pulling overtime working on my application to the Unreasonable Institute. I’m going to pummel the damn clock. (last night Dan and I did 9 straight hours until they kicked us out of the library, 6 of which were pure work)
Which means I’m sorry if I can’t put out as many quality blog entries as I would be able to otherwise. Don’t stop reading on me!
Now, I’ve been trying to decide whether it would compromise the quality of this blog if I used it as a platform to solicit favors. It’s sort of pathetic, but I’ve resolved that I want to get into Unreasonable so bad that I’m gonna go for it.
So with that in mind, here is a request for a favor I originally put on Facebook (if we're not friends, friend me! David Hu, University of Chicago, Rutgers):
HEY GUYS AND GIRLS,
First off, I just want to say thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I’m not trying to go all sentimental or anything, but it really means a lot to me.
And now, I have a HUGE favor to ask.
So I don’t know if any of you know about it, but there’s this thing called the Unreasonable Institute. Check it out, it’s a sweet opportunity for the word’s leading young social entrepreneurs (ages 20-30).
http://unreasonableinstitute.org/
What it is: A 10-week summer institute for 25 high-impact social entrepreneurs. Fellows get skill training and mentorship from baller entrepreneurs. At the end of the institute, they get connections to start-up capital and a global network of support.
Who they’re looking for: “We are looking for the world's most unreasonable, bold, and relentlessly determined young social entrepreneurs”
It costs $6500 to attend (which I certainly don’t have), but you can’t pay to attend, even if you wanted to. That’s how sick this thing is – real life investors invest in you (your personality + ideas), and they pay your tuition.
Now I have no business experience, nor a college degree, nor anything else tangible. However, I do have the motivations, the smarts, the persistence, the story, and the talent to make this thing, as many very smart people have told me. And I have some very promising ideas, though unfortunately I can’t reveal them now (we’re in stealth mode). You’re going to have to trust me when I say they’re good innovative ideas, and I may even put them on my blog after this whole application process is over. (In case it's not already clear from the blog, my Unreasonable Venture will help the motivated depressed college student overcome the debilitating adversity of depression)
However, due to my aforementioned youthful inexperience, I’m gonna need all the help I can get.
MY REQUEST
Can you all petition the Unreasonable Institute to accept me? They determine the 50 finalists, and after that it’s all open to the investor’s market, but I really really want to make the top 50.
You can either send an email to them (+1 cool point)
Or a personal letter (+5 cool points)
Or you can start a petition at your school, and get mad people to sign it, and send that. People will sign anything you shove in their face, for the most part (+ infinite cool points).
CONTACT INFO
wisdom@unreasonableinstitute.org
Unreasonable Institute
1305 College Ave, #150
Boulder, CO 80302
or just check the site for the contact info
http://www.unreasonableinstitute.org/get-in-touch/contact-us
Now I’m giving you guys a lot of advance warning time. The application is due 12/15, and they consider the applications for I think a month or so after that.
But ideally, I’d want you to submit these petitions (no matter the form) around the neighborhood of December 10th – December 15th. But really, you can submit them whenever the hell you want/remember to, and I'll be ECSTATIC.
So,
If you knew me in high school, or in college (whether Chicago or Rutgers), or just randomly in life, or if you like my blog, PLEASE CONSIDER DOING ME THIS HUGE FAVOR.
Tell them how I’m a sweet human being, how I’m weird and individualistic and socially awkward and like to play ultimate and bike. Tell them you dig my blog (I know you do, because you joined this group). Tell them any positive thing you can think about me.
Remember that in a year, I'll be homeless and unemployed and w/o a college degree or any sort of defined future.
So PLEASE DO ME THIS HUGE SOLID, AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU’RE GONNA DO IT TOO, BECAUSE IF IT’S ONLY A FEW OF YOU, THEN I'LL JUST LOOK LIKE A HUGE TOOL.
Thank you so much again for reading my blog, and for (possibly) doing this!
Love,
Dave
P.S. Shoutout to Arj and Sasha for already replying! Petition count so far: at least 91!
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
On Joy – Intro
Happiness can be a tricky thing.
Do we pursue it intentionally, as if it were an end goal in itself? If so, do we pursue it relentlessly and unceasingly? Or do we allocate a certain portion of time or energy to pursue it?
Or do we pursue other things, and hope that happiness results organically?
And what does it really mean to be happy? What metric do we use to measure it?
In the absence of any clear consensus on the happiness question, and given that human preferences exist on the widest of spectrums, I’m going to sidestep trying to come up with any sort of definitive or comprehensive answer. (like I could even put a dent in that question, even if I tried…)
I will, however, offer you my own tips and tricks for finding moments of joy in everyday life.
Would it be fair to call joy a micromoment of happiness? I guess when I think happiness, I think long-term contentment, and when I think joy, I think here and now.
Anyway, with this in mind, I’ve decided to start an ongoing series of posts on Joy, of which this is the introductory post. Check back in soon for more!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Do we pursue it intentionally, as if it were an end goal in itself? If so, do we pursue it relentlessly and unceasingly? Or do we allocate a certain portion of time or energy to pursue it?
Or do we pursue other things, and hope that happiness results organically?
And what does it really mean to be happy? What metric do we use to measure it?
In the absence of any clear consensus on the happiness question, and given that human preferences exist on the widest of spectrums, I’m going to sidestep trying to come up with any sort of definitive or comprehensive answer. (like I could even put a dent in that question, even if I tried…)
I will, however, offer you my own tips and tricks for finding moments of joy in everyday life.
Would it be fair to call joy a micromoment of happiness? I guess when I think happiness, I think long-term contentment, and when I think joy, I think here and now.
Anyway, with this in mind, I’ve decided to start an ongoing series of posts on Joy, of which this is the introductory post. Check back in soon for more!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
On This Blog - Shorter entries
So it’s come to my attention that my blog entries are rather mammoth in size, which in our attention-deficited age means turn-off.
With that in mind, I will try to shorten my posts, or at least mix it up between longer and shorter posts.
It’s hard because I’m a rather long-winded (though hopefully still lucid) thinker, and that translates directly on paper (screen)...
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
With that in mind, I will try to shorten my posts, or at least mix it up between longer and shorter posts.
It’s hard because I’m a rather long-winded (though hopefully still lucid) thinker, and that translates directly on paper (screen)...
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
On Entrepreneurship - Its health benefits
One of my main interests outside of solving the problem of depression is entrepreneurship. I think it is one of the greatest vehicles for positive change, and that more people – particularly whip-smart college grads who go off to consulting firms and investment banks instead – should get involved in it.
I once sat in on a keynote speech by Leonard Schlesinger, President of Babson College (#1 school for entrepreneurship in the world, obscurely located in Babson Park, MA).
During the keynote, he offered his views on “entrepreneurship,” and afterwards he spoke a little more specifically about his vision for the future of his school – basically he plugged Babson.
Among the key points of his keynote:
1 Contrary to conventional wisdom, we absolutely do understand how entrepreneurs think, and in fact the way they think can be taught (as theory) in 6 hours
2 We are all entrepreneurs – it’s just a matter of whether or not we let it surface for ourselves
3 Entrepreneurship is the most important tool in the world for economic growth.
Mr. Schlesinger went on to address the scientific method, and I think in general we entrepreneurs may get the impression that scientists can sometimes be rather skeptical of what we claim to be.
Recently, to make some easy cash, I did one of those psych studies they run on students, and when they asked me what my dream job would be, I responded with, “I want to be an entrepreneur.” Which frankly sounds horribly vague. What does that even mean?
But to return to the story.
Mr. Schlesinger spoke about how he admired and recognized the utility of the scientific method, but added this caveat:
The higher the uncertainty, the more quickly you reach the limits of the scientific method…and then you are only left with YOU.
I think it’s interesting to think about the way people learn. On the one hand, we are deductive creatures of logic. (for those of you who, like me, get deductive and inductive mixed up sometimes, deductive reasoning is the one where you infer specific principles from general principles)
And I think that’s largely how the scientific approach to doing things works. It’s heavily logical, and you apply broad established methods to tackle specific problems.
(I have no experience being a scientist, this is just based on my rather shabby experience in high school, and I’m really just an ignorant little punk with a little bit of intuition…so please, no heat from the scientists if I've gotten this wrong, I have the utmost respect for you guys)
On the other hand, inductive reasoning starts from specifics and moves to general conclusions based on those specifics.
Which I think is what Mr. Schlesinger was talking about when he said, and then you are only left with YOU.
It’s what Emerson was talking about when he said that genius is recognizing that what is true for you is true for all (see my earlier post, “In Defense of Individuality”).
It’s extrapolating from personal experience, and thinking, “Hmmm, this may be a universal truth.”
Now, Mr. Schlesinger’s next sequence of ideas I thought were fantastic.
After discussing the limits of the scientific method, he asserted that entrepreneurs don’t just find opportunities (using deductive reasoning/scientific method type approaches), they make them.
According to Mr. Schlesigner, most universities think something along the lines of, “We will systematically improve the quality of thought, and this improved quality of thought will lead to improved action.”
But this contains a spurious thought-action link of causality.
Now the gem of the whole keynote:
YOU CAN ACT YOUR WAY INTO NEW WAYS OF THINKING.
Now, I don’t know where Mr. Schlesinger got this particular phrase. The concept is certainly not new – we all know the old maxim, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” But this particular formulation of that idea is bloody brilliant.
Because it has radical implications for those who suffer from depression.
Now let me go personal-anecdotal for a moment.
When I was in the depths of my depression, my way of thinking was as twisted as can be. Each day, I thought nothing but, I want this to end – I need this to end – I will soon end my life. I meditated upon the possibility for relief that death would provide until it became an all-consuming obsession. Every second of every minute of every hour, my brain did nothing but register pain, and my natural response to that was to develop a flawed system of thought – the “I give up” system of thought.
But after I survived absolute rock bottom (with the help of many people), I found hope in an idea – I would write a book. A book that would help others in my situation.
And no matter what happened, or how bad it got again, I wasn’t going to pull any stupid shit until my book hit the shelves.
I cannot emphasize enough how much this book idea meant to me, and how many obstacles it gave me the strength to plow through. Let me explain the situation a little more fully.
I’ve never written anything for a public audience until this blog. In high school, I wasn’t on the staff of the school paper, nor did I ever submit a single article. My only experience with formal writing was writing essays for class. And we all know how bullshit that can be.
Now even after I changed my mindset and decided I wanted to live (it’s very easy to rationalize that suicide is the most moronic of options, but very hard to stick to that rationalization in the face of constant intense pain), I still had a host of physical symptoms from the depression.
Looking back at some of my symptoms, I think it was also partly that I’d acquired a vitamin B deficiency, quite possibly aggravated by a brief but intense period of alcoholism. I even thought I had neurological problems and got to hyperventilate for an EEG (Electroencephalogram) and sit through a TCD (Transcranial Doppler test), and eventually an MRI.
Yeah, I’m pretty screwed on health insurance now, even though I’m only 20 years old. Profit-driven bastards.
(For the record, brain MRIs are just cruel. It’s like being on a game show and getting every answer wrong, and having the “ERRR-you’re-wrong” beeps fire off constantly, rapidly, and in a rhythmic fashion while you're confined in a chamber)
But worst of all of my symptoms was the reemergence and rapid intensification of my Tourette’s syndrome.
I’ve had Tourette’s syndrome since I was 2 years old (I don’t actually remember that far back, but I’m told so by my father). I’ve cycled through several different tics, including arm and leg jerks, waving my hand across my face, shoulder shrugs, pulling my hair, ear popping, and excessive sniffing and blinking.
By the time I got to high school, many (but not all) of these tics tapered off, and it really wasn’t much of a factor in my life.
But after going through such a prolonged and severe period of stress, all of these bizarre uncontrollable urges came flooding back, and with an unprecedented intensity.
I was jerking and tensing the muscles in my arms and legs every few minutes or so. When I walked, I had to kick the inside of my right shoe against the back of the heel of my left shoe, so that my right shoe would wear thin from the constant friction. Moreover, certain parts of my feet had to come into contact with the ground at very particular times, or else I would freak out.
I would force myself to pop my ears (you know how if you swallow, you get that little pop? Like that, except self-induced without swallowing), sometimes continuously for minutes at a time.
And blinking. There were times when I’d blink nearly nonstop for an hour. And it wasn’t just blinking, it was hard blinking. Sometimes I’d have to emphasize the strength with which I blinked a certain eye, left or right, so that it would turn out more like a wink.
For a while I didn’t dare drive.
Much of this continued when I enrolled at Rutgers. The hard rapid blinking and ear popping continued even after I left and moved to Waltham. (I considered wearing sunglasses indoors to conceal it, but decided it would only draw attention to the matter)
Driving to Olin was a bitch the first few weeks. I’m not sure it was even a responsible thing to do. There were definitely some near misses, especially in bumper-to-bumper traffic, when you’re already prone to zone out.
Now I don’t mean to pity my past self. Or wallow in past misery.
The point is that I was having a very trying time on a daily basis. I even accepted the fact that I might live with severe Tourette’s syndrome for the rest of my life. That I had possibly (and probably) done severe damage to my body for putting it through so much stress.
Even today, I’m worried about the long-term consequences of that prolonged period of intense stress. But only a little worried, because worrying is largely useless to me, so I don’t do it.
The key thing is, having a project to work on sustained me.
I knew that I had something to offer that no one else in the world could offer, and I woke up every day looking forward to delivering.
As time has progressed (I’ve only been in the greater Boston area for 2 months or so), I’ve taken on new projects in addition to my book.
And my symptoms have finally disappeared. Yes, I still have minor tics associated with my Tourette’s syndrome, but I am largely symptom free. I could not be more thrilled about that.
What I’ve come to realize is that bringing out the entrepreneur within me has been the most potent antidote to the symptoms of my depression – both the mental and the physical symptoms.
By taking action – dropping out of school and driving to Waltham – I forced myself into a new way of thinking.
I threw my back against the wall and left myself with only two options – success or failure. Which really means I left myself with only one option.
Success.
As a good friend of mine (shout out to Dan at Babson) recently reminded me,
“Do or do not…there is no try.”
-Yoda
The fact is, crisis is opportunity.
Depression is crisis to the extreme, and because of that, it is a chance for you to reinvent yourself through the struggle it will require to defeat it. Use it to discover the unassailable strength within you.
Use it to unleash the entrepreneur within you.
I believe that any effective solution to the problem of depression will incorporate the entrepreneurial spirit that exists within all of us.
For some of us, this spirit burns fierce like fire. For others, it dribbles like snot.
I don’t care. I know it’s there.
Popping pills is not entrepreneurial. Sitting on a couch and letting a therapist talk at you is not entrepreneurial. That is why these traditional methods are so often ineffective. And not only that, they are expensive too. And if they do work, they work in conjuction with a change in mindset and lifestyle. No amount of drugs or therapy will work unless the patient is active about getting better.
There must be a better solution to traditional interventions.
And that is what I spend the majority of each day thinking about.
If you have any ideas, let me know!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
I once sat in on a keynote speech by Leonard Schlesinger, President of Babson College (#1 school for entrepreneurship in the world, obscurely located in Babson Park, MA).
During the keynote, he offered his views on “entrepreneurship,” and afterwards he spoke a little more specifically about his vision for the future of his school – basically he plugged Babson.
Among the key points of his keynote:
1 Contrary to conventional wisdom, we absolutely do understand how entrepreneurs think, and in fact the way they think can be taught (as theory) in 6 hours
2 We are all entrepreneurs – it’s just a matter of whether or not we let it surface for ourselves
3 Entrepreneurship is the most important tool in the world for economic growth.
Mr. Schlesinger went on to address the scientific method, and I think in general we entrepreneurs may get the impression that scientists can sometimes be rather skeptical of what we claim to be.
Recently, to make some easy cash, I did one of those psych studies they run on students, and when they asked me what my dream job would be, I responded with, “I want to be an entrepreneur.” Which frankly sounds horribly vague. What does that even mean?
But to return to the story.
Mr. Schlesinger spoke about how he admired and recognized the utility of the scientific method, but added this caveat:
The higher the uncertainty, the more quickly you reach the limits of the scientific method…and then you are only left with YOU.
I think it’s interesting to think about the way people learn. On the one hand, we are deductive creatures of logic. (for those of you who, like me, get deductive and inductive mixed up sometimes, deductive reasoning is the one where you infer specific principles from general principles)
And I think that’s largely how the scientific approach to doing things works. It’s heavily logical, and you apply broad established methods to tackle specific problems.
(I have no experience being a scientist, this is just based on my rather shabby experience in high school, and I’m really just an ignorant little punk with a little bit of intuition…so please, no heat from the scientists if I've gotten this wrong, I have the utmost respect for you guys)
On the other hand, inductive reasoning starts from specifics and moves to general conclusions based on those specifics.
Which I think is what Mr. Schlesinger was talking about when he said, and then you are only left with YOU.
It’s what Emerson was talking about when he said that genius is recognizing that what is true for you is true for all (see my earlier post, “In Defense of Individuality”).
It’s extrapolating from personal experience, and thinking, “Hmmm, this may be a universal truth.”
Now, Mr. Schlesinger’s next sequence of ideas I thought were fantastic.
After discussing the limits of the scientific method, he asserted that entrepreneurs don’t just find opportunities (using deductive reasoning/scientific method type approaches), they make them.
According to Mr. Schlesigner, most universities think something along the lines of, “We will systematically improve the quality of thought, and this improved quality of thought will lead to improved action.”
But this contains a spurious thought-action link of causality.
Now the gem of the whole keynote:
YOU CAN ACT YOUR WAY INTO NEW WAYS OF THINKING.
Now, I don’t know where Mr. Schlesinger got this particular phrase. The concept is certainly not new – we all know the old maxim, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” But this particular formulation of that idea is bloody brilliant.
Because it has radical implications for those who suffer from depression.
Now let me go personal-anecdotal for a moment.
When I was in the depths of my depression, my way of thinking was as twisted as can be. Each day, I thought nothing but, I want this to end – I need this to end – I will soon end my life. I meditated upon the possibility for relief that death would provide until it became an all-consuming obsession. Every second of every minute of every hour, my brain did nothing but register pain, and my natural response to that was to develop a flawed system of thought – the “I give up” system of thought.
But after I survived absolute rock bottom (with the help of many people), I found hope in an idea – I would write a book. A book that would help others in my situation.
And no matter what happened, or how bad it got again, I wasn’t going to pull any stupid shit until my book hit the shelves.
I cannot emphasize enough how much this book idea meant to me, and how many obstacles it gave me the strength to plow through. Let me explain the situation a little more fully.
I’ve never written anything for a public audience until this blog. In high school, I wasn’t on the staff of the school paper, nor did I ever submit a single article. My only experience with formal writing was writing essays for class. And we all know how bullshit that can be.
Now even after I changed my mindset and decided I wanted to live (it’s very easy to rationalize that suicide is the most moronic of options, but very hard to stick to that rationalization in the face of constant intense pain), I still had a host of physical symptoms from the depression.
Looking back at some of my symptoms, I think it was also partly that I’d acquired a vitamin B deficiency, quite possibly aggravated by a brief but intense period of alcoholism. I even thought I had neurological problems and got to hyperventilate for an EEG (Electroencephalogram) and sit through a TCD (Transcranial Doppler test), and eventually an MRI.
Yeah, I’m pretty screwed on health insurance now, even though I’m only 20 years old. Profit-driven bastards.
(For the record, brain MRIs are just cruel. It’s like being on a game show and getting every answer wrong, and having the “ERRR-you’re-wrong” beeps fire off constantly, rapidly, and in a rhythmic fashion while you're confined in a chamber)
But worst of all of my symptoms was the reemergence and rapid intensification of my Tourette’s syndrome.
I’ve had Tourette’s syndrome since I was 2 years old (I don’t actually remember that far back, but I’m told so by my father). I’ve cycled through several different tics, including arm and leg jerks, waving my hand across my face, shoulder shrugs, pulling my hair, ear popping, and excessive sniffing and blinking.
By the time I got to high school, many (but not all) of these tics tapered off, and it really wasn’t much of a factor in my life.
But after going through such a prolonged and severe period of stress, all of these bizarre uncontrollable urges came flooding back, and with an unprecedented intensity.
I was jerking and tensing the muscles in my arms and legs every few minutes or so. When I walked, I had to kick the inside of my right shoe against the back of the heel of my left shoe, so that my right shoe would wear thin from the constant friction. Moreover, certain parts of my feet had to come into contact with the ground at very particular times, or else I would freak out.
I would force myself to pop my ears (you know how if you swallow, you get that little pop? Like that, except self-induced without swallowing), sometimes continuously for minutes at a time.
And blinking. There were times when I’d blink nearly nonstop for an hour. And it wasn’t just blinking, it was hard blinking. Sometimes I’d have to emphasize the strength with which I blinked a certain eye, left or right, so that it would turn out more like a wink.
For a while I didn’t dare drive.
Much of this continued when I enrolled at Rutgers. The hard rapid blinking and ear popping continued even after I left and moved to Waltham. (I considered wearing sunglasses indoors to conceal it, but decided it would only draw attention to the matter)
Driving to Olin was a bitch the first few weeks. I’m not sure it was even a responsible thing to do. There were definitely some near misses, especially in bumper-to-bumper traffic, when you’re already prone to zone out.
Now I don’t mean to pity my past self. Or wallow in past misery.
The point is that I was having a very trying time on a daily basis. I even accepted the fact that I might live with severe Tourette’s syndrome for the rest of my life. That I had possibly (and probably) done severe damage to my body for putting it through so much stress.
Even today, I’m worried about the long-term consequences of that prolonged period of intense stress. But only a little worried, because worrying is largely useless to me, so I don’t do it.
The key thing is, having a project to work on sustained me.
I knew that I had something to offer that no one else in the world could offer, and I woke up every day looking forward to delivering.
As time has progressed (I’ve only been in the greater Boston area for 2 months or so), I’ve taken on new projects in addition to my book.
And my symptoms have finally disappeared. Yes, I still have minor tics associated with my Tourette’s syndrome, but I am largely symptom free. I could not be more thrilled about that.
What I’ve come to realize is that bringing out the entrepreneur within me has been the most potent antidote to the symptoms of my depression – both the mental and the physical symptoms.
By taking action – dropping out of school and driving to Waltham – I forced myself into a new way of thinking.
I threw my back against the wall and left myself with only two options – success or failure. Which really means I left myself with only one option.
Success.
As a good friend of mine (shout out to Dan at Babson) recently reminded me,
“Do or do not…there is no try.”
-Yoda
The fact is, crisis is opportunity.
Depression is crisis to the extreme, and because of that, it is a chance for you to reinvent yourself through the struggle it will require to defeat it. Use it to discover the unassailable strength within you.
Use it to unleash the entrepreneur within you.
I believe that any effective solution to the problem of depression will incorporate the entrepreneurial spirit that exists within all of us.
For some of us, this spirit burns fierce like fire. For others, it dribbles like snot.
I don’t care. I know it’s there.
Popping pills is not entrepreneurial. Sitting on a couch and letting a therapist talk at you is not entrepreneurial. That is why these traditional methods are so often ineffective. And not only that, they are expensive too. And if they do work, they work in conjuction with a change in mindset and lifestyle. No amount of drugs or therapy will work unless the patient is active about getting better.
There must be a better solution to traditional interventions.
And that is what I spend the majority of each day thinking about.
If you have any ideas, let me know!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)