Hey all,
Just found out we didn't make it to the next round for Unreasonable.
This is sort of a huge hit, but I'm moving forward w/our venture anyway - not sure about the rest of my team.
I want to thank everyone who petitioned for me - it really means everything to me. Some of you actually let me read the letters you wrote, and you should know that getting to hear such kind words from close friends means infinitely more to me than getting into any Institute could ever mean (and I'm not gonna lie, I wanted Unreasonable pretty bad).
Alright, gotta run for an interview now, but check back in for more updates.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
On Art – Intro (The Met in NYC)
Yesterday I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC (shoutout to the Bergmans in Jersey for taking me along).
I’d never been to the Met before, and I guess I’d never really been to any art museums other than any ones they might have taken us to throughout the K-12 school years (don’t remember), and I definitely didn’t appreciate that kind of stuff back then.
You need some life experience before you can “get” art, I think. Sort of like how you need to have some base level of fitness before you can “get” weight lifting. (and even then the sheer ridiculousness of jerking around hunks of metal is pretty incomprehensible to me sometimes)
It’d be pretty absurd for me to try to tell you all the thoughts that raced through my mind as my senses were bombarded by the Met. To keep it simple: it was a hell of an experience.
ART + PEOPLE (NYC melting pot) + BUILDING (gorgeous) = INSPIRE
I’m not sure I can properly describe to you how much I learned about art, and about life.
If you were to ask me an open-ended question like “What do you know about African art?” or something technical like “Which Impressionist painters enjoyed using broad rectangular brush strokes and heavily contrasting colors in creating the reflection off the surface of a body of water?” I’d probably be inclined to tell you to shut it.
Because that’s not what art is about, at it’s heart.
At the Met, they have guided tours at scheduled intervals during the day. Normally I’d skip this kind of thing, but we figured it wouldn’t be that long and that we’d be able to pick up a few insights if we checked it out.
It absolutely was worth it.
The tour-guide was upper-middle-aged, squat and stocky, and dressed impeccably in blue blazer, face framed in very round glasses. He looked sharp. And his pitch was sharpened to perfection. (30 years of experience can do that)
I’d never witnessed such outstanding salesmanship. He was in-your-face salesy, but he sold genuinely valuable content. I’m not sure everybody appreciated his mastery as much as I did, but I fully recognized that he was just as much a part of the museum as any of the actual art was.
To get back on track, though.
The real reason I liked him so much was because of the way he defined art – he said that art isn’t just passive observation – it’s active recreation.
At each exhibit, he’d brief us on the art at hand, but more importantly he’d find a way to remind us that we (the museum goers) were just as important a part of the museum as the art itself.
He elevated us to the level of the artist.
And he was absolutely right. The finest art in the world is worthless if it doesn’t have a “receiving consciousness.”
Art is the interplay between art and audience.
It’s what happens to you when you see it. It’s your reaction to it.
That’s what art is all about, whether it be painting, photography, poetry, music, theatre, or literature.
Or the less deliberate, more “unspectacular” art of everyday life.
That’s what art is all about. And that’s what life is all about.
There’s a lot of stuff going on in this world right now. Mindblowingly smart people are creating mindblowingly complex gadgets that can do mindblowingly ridiculous things. Business tycoons are commanding our economies with pixels sent out on their BlackBerry’s. Leaders of countries are making monumental decisions with immortal (and mortal) consequences.
And so on.
All this stuff only matters at all because of the way we respond to it, because of the way our consciences receive it – the collective conscience of humanity.
The fact that I can look at a painting created by a random person in a random place at a random time (random from my perspective) and react to it and sometimes resonate with it – that’s beautiful.
It shows that genius is universal.
And it celebrates the individual. Every individual, not just the talented individual.
This serves as a strong call to reduce inequality in this world. In the most basic of senses, we really all are equal. If you don’t trust me on this, try the business mind angle:
“Whether through democracy, strong public education, quality health care, or broad economic opportunity—reducing inequality is the highest human achievement.”
-Bill Gates, rich guy
That’s right, all human achievements – art, science, business, what have you – can serve no higher purpose than to reduce inequality.
Now try the theatre mind:
“The primary function of theater is to uplift humanity.”
-Philosophy of the Stella Adler Studio of Acting in NYC
Uplifting humanity starts with uplifting yourself.
Recognize that you have enormous potential as a human being, and that you can and should and even must unleash this potential upon the world.
Recognize that in the process of lifting yourself up, you are free to (and encouraged to, by me at at least) break rules in the name of expressing yourself.
“You are remembered for the rules you break.”
-Douglas MacArthur, American general who commanded the Southwest Pacific Theatre in WWII
Do you see how much you can get out of a single visit to an art museum?
As I walked around, trying not to lose myself amidst the sensory overload, the dots started to connect for me. One dot that stood out was a bumper sticker I once saw on a crummy white sedan:
Art saves lives.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
I’d never been to the Met before, and I guess I’d never really been to any art museums other than any ones they might have taken us to throughout the K-12 school years (don’t remember), and I definitely didn’t appreciate that kind of stuff back then.
You need some life experience before you can “get” art, I think. Sort of like how you need to have some base level of fitness before you can “get” weight lifting. (and even then the sheer ridiculousness of jerking around hunks of metal is pretty incomprehensible to me sometimes)
It’d be pretty absurd for me to try to tell you all the thoughts that raced through my mind as my senses were bombarded by the Met. To keep it simple: it was a hell of an experience.
ART + PEOPLE (NYC melting pot) + BUILDING (gorgeous) = INSPIRE
I’m not sure I can properly describe to you how much I learned about art, and about life.
If you were to ask me an open-ended question like “What do you know about African art?” or something technical like “Which Impressionist painters enjoyed using broad rectangular brush strokes and heavily contrasting colors in creating the reflection off the surface of a body of water?” I’d probably be inclined to tell you to shut it.
Because that’s not what art is about, at it’s heart.
At the Met, they have guided tours at scheduled intervals during the day. Normally I’d skip this kind of thing, but we figured it wouldn’t be that long and that we’d be able to pick up a few insights if we checked it out.
It absolutely was worth it.
The tour-guide was upper-middle-aged, squat and stocky, and dressed impeccably in blue blazer, face framed in very round glasses. He looked sharp. And his pitch was sharpened to perfection. (30 years of experience can do that)
I’d never witnessed such outstanding salesmanship. He was in-your-face salesy, but he sold genuinely valuable content. I’m not sure everybody appreciated his mastery as much as I did, but I fully recognized that he was just as much a part of the museum as any of the actual art was.
To get back on track, though.
The real reason I liked him so much was because of the way he defined art – he said that art isn’t just passive observation – it’s active recreation.
At each exhibit, he’d brief us on the art at hand, but more importantly he’d find a way to remind us that we (the museum goers) were just as important a part of the museum as the art itself.
He elevated us to the level of the artist.
And he was absolutely right. The finest art in the world is worthless if it doesn’t have a “receiving consciousness.”
Art is the interplay between art and audience.
It’s what happens to you when you see it. It’s your reaction to it.
That’s what art is all about, whether it be painting, photography, poetry, music, theatre, or literature.
Or the less deliberate, more “unspectacular” art of everyday life.
That’s what art is all about. And that’s what life is all about.
There’s a lot of stuff going on in this world right now. Mindblowingly smart people are creating mindblowingly complex gadgets that can do mindblowingly ridiculous things. Business tycoons are commanding our economies with pixels sent out on their BlackBerry’s. Leaders of countries are making monumental decisions with immortal (and mortal) consequences.
And so on.
All this stuff only matters at all because of the way we respond to it, because of the way our consciences receive it – the collective conscience of humanity.
The fact that I can look at a painting created by a random person in a random place at a random time (random from my perspective) and react to it and sometimes resonate with it – that’s beautiful.
It shows that genius is universal.
And it celebrates the individual. Every individual, not just the talented individual.
This serves as a strong call to reduce inequality in this world. In the most basic of senses, we really all are equal. If you don’t trust me on this, try the business mind angle:
“Whether through democracy, strong public education, quality health care, or broad economic opportunity—reducing inequality is the highest human achievement.”
-Bill Gates, rich guy
That’s right, all human achievements – art, science, business, what have you – can serve no higher purpose than to reduce inequality.
Now try the theatre mind:
“The primary function of theater is to uplift humanity.”
-Philosophy of the Stella Adler Studio of Acting in NYC
Uplifting humanity starts with uplifting yourself.
Recognize that you have enormous potential as a human being, and that you can and should and even must unleash this potential upon the world.
Recognize that in the process of lifting yourself up, you are free to (and encouraged to, by me at at least) break rules in the name of expressing yourself.
“You are remembered for the rules you break.”
-Douglas MacArthur, American general who commanded the Southwest Pacific Theatre in WWII
Do you see how much you can get out of a single visit to an art museum?
As I walked around, trying not to lose myself amidst the sensory overload, the dots started to connect for me. One dot that stood out was a bumper sticker I once saw on a crummy white sedan:
Art saves lives.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Saturday, December 26, 2009
On Our Social Venture – Our idea
BASICALLY
We’re going to create a program that will make people addicted to doing things they can be proud of.
THIS WILL
Help people build an emotional resume that people can draw strength from in times of difficulty.
We hope a fundamental realization will hit them – you have enormous potential.
And through hard work, persistence, and the opportunities to pursue your passions in an environment that encourages constructive failure and embraces imperfection, you can unleash that potential.
HOW IT WILL WORK
Each participant will work with a mentor to design a “program” based on his/her interests and passions. Starting from simple concrete active baby steps, and eventually moving towards the miraculous, participants will develop real skills and gradually build a sense of self-worth by actively engaging in their passions.
WE WILL PROVIDE
The Opportunities: We’ll show you what’s out there. We’ll help you (re)discover your passions and help you design your “program” around those passions.
The Connections: We’ll bring in the talented cool people who will teach you what you want to know and help you do what you want to do.
The Community: We’ll give you the environment you need to succeed. We’ll push you to achieve, and encourage you to fail and learn from that failure (and each others’ failures) in the process. We won’t claim to have all the answers. We won’t do dogma.
FOR EXAMPLE
All your life, you (and three of your fellow participants), have wanted to try playwriting.
For whatever reason, you never got around to trying it. Maybe you didn’t feel you had the time. Maybe you didn’t have the money. Maybe you didn’t have the sand to ante up – you were intimidated and afraid to fail. Who knows.
Now we give you your shot. (And it’s just one among many – if you find you don’t like it, you can try something else, or try multiple things concurrently)
We bring in a local playwright (someone legit), and they work with you. You start simple – just a character sketch. Then you write your first line. Then you move on and write a scene – just one scene. Then you write another…and another…and another. And then you rewrite each scene over and over until it fits your standards (your new standards after you’ve worked with the playwright). Etc.
Until you realize you’ve finished your first short play.
Then you get together with your fellow participants – those who have the shared interest in playwriting – and together you write another short play, using what you’ve learned. Again, the playwright(s) guides you.
At a certain point, you guys find you’ve written a cool play. It’s not necessarily brilliant (maybe it is), but it’s not half bad either. Hell, it’s pretty damn decent, if you do say so yourself.
Then we bring in a group of local actors (legit people). They perform a show for you – maybe their own play. And then they perform your play. For you.
You could not be more thrilled to see this happen. You could not be more proud. You never in your life imagined you were capable of this. No one ever knew. You never knew.
But now you do.
And there’s no turning back.
Do you see where I’m going with this? The possibilities are endless. As exciting as they are to me, I won’t risk boring you with them.
I firmly believe that if you do enough things outside of your comfort zone – things you are passionate about, but perhaps never got to try – and you persist (w/guidance) through the stages where you inevitably will suck a little, eventually you will succeed a little at some of them. That fuels your confidence more and more, until you realize the immense potential that exists w/in you. In the right environment, this blossoming sense of self-worth can propel you to accomplish miraculous things, whether miraculous on a personal scale, or on society’s scale.
It’s a long gradual process, but it’s real.
Yes, we have kinks to work out. There’s a hell of a lot of stuff we have to work out.
Yes, we are young, and inexperienced, and lack “credibility.”
Yes, the stakes are high. Potentially life or death.
Will we move forward with our venture?
Absolutely.
I believe our venture will revolutionize the way depression is treated. If it doesn’t, oh well. We’ll learn so much from having tried it. And we’ll try something else, using what we’ve learned.
While I am rather fervently against therapy and medication as long-term solutions to depression, I recognize that they are useful to some people. In fact, my team often berates me for being so aggressive in my critiques of traditional interventions.
Let me make it clear once and for all – if therapy and medication work for you, stick with it. And to all the psychiatrists and psychotherapists who also are sympathetic human beings, and who devote themselves to helping their patients - I have the utmost respect for you.
But there is no reason whatsoever not to have another option available.
Fundamentally, that is what we are – just another option.
You should know: This iteration of our idea is only ten or so days old. I only met my team 2 months ago. We’ve only been brainstorming for that long. We have so much to learn.
We would love nothing more than to hear your feedback. Be as harsh as you will, or as generous as you will. Above all, be genuine – that will be most useful of all.
You should also know:
If you’re gonna hate on me w/o providing constructive criticism…
Well, I listen to Chamillionaire (car radio) and very much identify:
-Chamillionaire in "Good Morning"
So there it is - our gift to the world. It's pretty simple, really, but elegant in its simplicity, I think.
Let us know what you think! And I wish you all the best for the coming new year!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
We’re going to create a program that will make people addicted to doing things they can be proud of.
THIS WILL
Help people build an emotional resume that people can draw strength from in times of difficulty.
We hope a fundamental realization will hit them – you have enormous potential.
And through hard work, persistence, and the opportunities to pursue your passions in an environment that encourages constructive failure and embraces imperfection, you can unleash that potential.
HOW IT WILL WORK
Each participant will work with a mentor to design a “program” based on his/her interests and passions. Starting from simple concrete active baby steps, and eventually moving towards the miraculous, participants will develop real skills and gradually build a sense of self-worth by actively engaging in their passions.
WE WILL PROVIDE
The Opportunities: We’ll show you what’s out there. We’ll help you (re)discover your passions and help you design your “program” around those passions.
The Connections: We’ll bring in the talented cool people who will teach you what you want to know and help you do what you want to do.
The Community: We’ll give you the environment you need to succeed. We’ll push you to achieve, and encourage you to fail and learn from that failure (and each others’ failures) in the process. We won’t claim to have all the answers. We won’t do dogma.
FOR EXAMPLE
All your life, you (and three of your fellow participants), have wanted to try playwriting.
For whatever reason, you never got around to trying it. Maybe you didn’t feel you had the time. Maybe you didn’t have the money. Maybe you didn’t have the sand to ante up – you were intimidated and afraid to fail. Who knows.
Now we give you your shot. (And it’s just one among many – if you find you don’t like it, you can try something else, or try multiple things concurrently)
We bring in a local playwright (someone legit), and they work with you. You start simple – just a character sketch. Then you write your first line. Then you move on and write a scene – just one scene. Then you write another…and another…and another. And then you rewrite each scene over and over until it fits your standards (your new standards after you’ve worked with the playwright). Etc.
Until you realize you’ve finished your first short play.
Then you get together with your fellow participants – those who have the shared interest in playwriting – and together you write another short play, using what you’ve learned. Again, the playwright(s) guides you.
At a certain point, you guys find you’ve written a cool play. It’s not necessarily brilliant (maybe it is), but it’s not half bad either. Hell, it’s pretty damn decent, if you do say so yourself.
Then we bring in a group of local actors (legit people). They perform a show for you – maybe their own play. And then they perform your play. For you.
You could not be more thrilled to see this happen. You could not be more proud. You never in your life imagined you were capable of this. No one ever knew. You never knew.
But now you do.
And there’s no turning back.
***
Do you see where I’m going with this? The possibilities are endless. As exciting as they are to me, I won’t risk boring you with them.
I firmly believe that if you do enough things outside of your comfort zone – things you are passionate about, but perhaps never got to try – and you persist (w/guidance) through the stages where you inevitably will suck a little, eventually you will succeed a little at some of them. That fuels your confidence more and more, until you realize the immense potential that exists w/in you. In the right environment, this blossoming sense of self-worth can propel you to accomplish miraculous things, whether miraculous on a personal scale, or on society’s scale.
It’s a long gradual process, but it’s real.
Yes, we have kinks to work out. There’s a hell of a lot of stuff we have to work out.
Yes, we are young, and inexperienced, and lack “credibility.”
Yes, the stakes are high. Potentially life or death.
Will we move forward with our venture?
Absolutely.
I believe our venture will revolutionize the way depression is treated. If it doesn’t, oh well. We’ll learn so much from having tried it. And we’ll try something else, using what we’ve learned.
While I am rather fervently against therapy and medication as long-term solutions to depression, I recognize that they are useful to some people. In fact, my team often berates me for being so aggressive in my critiques of traditional interventions.
Let me make it clear once and for all – if therapy and medication work for you, stick with it. And to all the psychiatrists and psychotherapists who also are sympathetic human beings, and who devote themselves to helping their patients - I have the utmost respect for you.
But there is no reason whatsoever not to have another option available.
Fundamentally, that is what we are – just another option.
You should know: This iteration of our idea is only ten or so days old. I only met my team 2 months ago. We’ve only been brainstorming for that long. We have so much to learn.
We would love nothing more than to hear your feedback. Be as harsh as you will, or as generous as you will. Above all, be genuine – that will be most useful of all.
You should also know:
If you’re gonna hate on me w/o providing constructive criticism…
Well, I listen to Chamillionaire (car radio) and very much identify:
"I admit it, I'm really 'bout to show you how I do
If you know that you a hater, this dedicated to you
You hatin' my last move, I'm way on my next move
See they hate to see you be successful"
-Chamillionaire in "Good Morning"
So there it is - our gift to the world. It's pretty simple, really, but elegant in its simplicity, I think.
Let us know what you think! And I wish you all the best for the coming new year!
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Friday, December 25, 2009
On Our Social Venture – Core beliefs
Before I tell you our idea, I’d like to get down a few fundamental beliefs I hold in the arena of depression/depression treatment.
And just to be clear: Although every member of my team (Dan, Hari, Colin, myself) played a crucial role in creatively synthesizing our idea (I didn’t even come up with the core of our idea – Dan did), and although lines fuse and blur when it comes to who came up w/what (we’ve talked over so much and I’ve read so much there’s no way I can hold all the sources in my head), the views I put down here are mine alone to be responsible for – only I can be held accountable for them. In general, this goes for anything on this blog, of course.
What I’m trying to say is that I’m giving all due credit to my team and to anyone else who may have influenced me, but if you have a problem with anything on this blog, you have a problem with me. Don’t judge my team by my writing.
CORE BELIEFS (in no particular order)
1 Depression should only be thought of as an illness if it helps you to think about it that way. Given that depression operates on a spectrum, and that nearly everybody has experienced aspects of it at one point or another, things are already very imprecise.
Do NOT let a doctor’s (or your own) diagnosis trap you in a box. Do NOT rely on and cling to an identity as a “depressed person” unless it helps you to frame it as a struggle where you will ultimately win.
2 The human spirit is stronger than you know, stronger than any medical expert knows, stronger than anyone ever to have existed knew, and stronger than anyone who ever will exist will ever know.
You can (sometimes) thwart death through sheer will. There are medical annals that attest to this.
3 The medical industry and all medical/health professionals serve as means to an end, not as ends themselves. The same goes for medical (and all types of) credentials. Credentials are only useful in terms of the experience it took to acquire them.
I said experience – not time, not running through administrative hoops, not going through motions.
If the time it took to get your credentials proved useless, or you failed to learn from your experiences, or the world changed such that what you did learn became obsolete (this happens), then those credentials become entirely useless.
Even (and especially) the established professionals should hear out new ideas. After they hear them out, they’re free to dismiss them. I hold myself to this exact same standard. It may sound harsh, but we cannot afford stale egos amidst the crisis of now.
4 There should be a separation between person and idea. When I critique people, I try to focus on the merits/flaws of their ideas, or at least of their actions and how those actions represent them. I try not to attack them personally or make assumptions about them. Please do the same for me.
5 Root causes of depression (and the inability to defeat depression) must be addressed, not symptoms. I believe root causes include, but are not limited to:
-Lack of opportunity to express one’s unique self – to develop one’s innate genius (see my earlier post “In Defense of Individuality”)
-Stigma (more on this later)
-Lack of a sense of self-worth
-Hopelessness/sense of futility
-Perfectionism
-Fear of failure (goes along w/perfectionism)
-Inability to find and connect with “your kind of people,” whether because of physical/geographic barriers or mental/psychic barriers. “Your kind of people” meaning people who are passionate about similar things, who support you, who challenge you, etc. Think Robin Williams’ definition of “soulmate” in the movie Good Will Hunting: Someone who challenges you.
Etc.
6 The idea that chemical-imbalance-correcting miracle drugs or passive therapy will provide a long-term antidote to depression is pure horseshit. It mocks human agency.
And this is true even for the best psychotherapists and psychiatrists. Yes, talking and learning about yourself can be life-changing, and talking to wise intelligent people can provide eureka moments of clairvoyance for us (so the old saying goes, “10 minutes w/a wise man is worth 10 years of books"), and medication may help some people to some degree, but at a certain point you need to take action to change your life.
7 People have a fundamental desire to embrace their passions (Hari’s words, shared idea).
8 There is a disastrous stigma associated with traditional interventions, especially for young people (or at least some of them…or at least me). I know there is a distinction b/w stigmas w/identifying yourself as depressed, and stigmas w/seeking help – I’m going to focus on the second one here. So, aspects of this stigma/things that contribute to this stigma include, but are not limited to:
-I personally have felt condescended against by many psychotherapists and psychiatrists (and even by MD's who generally have very little training on the matter yet had the nerve to impose "help" on me in a definitive tone of voice), and in general I believe intellectual snobbery is a huge barrier to treatment.
-Many medical professionals seem to believe they have the solution to depression sitting right in their minds, extrapolated from piles and piles of textbooks and years and years of study and observation. Bad news for you guys: you’re wrong. We’re humans, not math riddles. There’s no one solution (nor one set of solutions, nor combination of pills/exercise/talking) for all people – there’s no panacea.
-When I go to a therapist, there’s just this horrible stuffy and lame and passive feel to the whole thing. I just get the wrong vibe.
-I don’t particularly like carrying around therapists' cards and appointment reminders in my wallet.
-If you’re going to set aside time during your day to fight depression, why not spend it doing something you like, rather than sitting in a therapist’s office? Yes, it’s still hard work, but you can focus your efforts where you want them to be, rather than where someone else tells you they should be.
Etc.
9 Traditional interventions were designed top-down. For example (and I know this is an extreme and outdated one), professionals used to diagnose people with mental health illnesses based on how they responded to medication…what a strange reversal…
Why not have college students design solutions for college problems?
Alright, that’s enough for now. I’m sort of hesitant to put down core beliefs as I’ve done here, because it seems to imply that they're the only core beliefs I have, and that they’re unchangeable – NOT the case.
Still, that should give you a primer and some understanding of where we’re coming from when we talk about our solution.
Read the next post for the (current version of the) idea itself.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
And just to be clear: Although every member of my team (Dan, Hari, Colin, myself) played a crucial role in creatively synthesizing our idea (I didn’t even come up with the core of our idea – Dan did), and although lines fuse and blur when it comes to who came up w/what (we’ve talked over so much and I’ve read so much there’s no way I can hold all the sources in my head), the views I put down here are mine alone to be responsible for – only I can be held accountable for them. In general, this goes for anything on this blog, of course.
What I’m trying to say is that I’m giving all due credit to my team and to anyone else who may have influenced me, but if you have a problem with anything on this blog, you have a problem with me. Don’t judge my team by my writing.
CORE BELIEFS (in no particular order)
1 Depression should only be thought of as an illness if it helps you to think about it that way. Given that depression operates on a spectrum, and that nearly everybody has experienced aspects of it at one point or another, things are already very imprecise.
Do NOT let a doctor’s (or your own) diagnosis trap you in a box. Do NOT rely on and cling to an identity as a “depressed person” unless it helps you to frame it as a struggle where you will ultimately win.
2 The human spirit is stronger than you know, stronger than any medical expert knows, stronger than anyone ever to have existed knew, and stronger than anyone who ever will exist will ever know.
You can (sometimes) thwart death through sheer will. There are medical annals that attest to this.
3 The medical industry and all medical/health professionals serve as means to an end, not as ends themselves. The same goes for medical (and all types of) credentials. Credentials are only useful in terms of the experience it took to acquire them.
I said experience – not time, not running through administrative hoops, not going through motions.
If the time it took to get your credentials proved useless, or you failed to learn from your experiences, or the world changed such that what you did learn became obsolete (this happens), then those credentials become entirely useless.
Even (and especially) the established professionals should hear out new ideas. After they hear them out, they’re free to dismiss them. I hold myself to this exact same standard. It may sound harsh, but we cannot afford stale egos amidst the crisis of now.
4 There should be a separation between person and idea. When I critique people, I try to focus on the merits/flaws of their ideas, or at least of their actions and how those actions represent them. I try not to attack them personally or make assumptions about them. Please do the same for me.
5 Root causes of depression (and the inability to defeat depression) must be addressed, not symptoms. I believe root causes include, but are not limited to:
-Lack of opportunity to express one’s unique self – to develop one’s innate genius (see my earlier post “In Defense of Individuality”)
-Stigma (more on this later)
-Lack of a sense of self-worth
-Hopelessness/sense of futility
-Perfectionism
-Fear of failure (goes along w/perfectionism)
-Inability to find and connect with “your kind of people,” whether because of physical/geographic barriers or mental/psychic barriers. “Your kind of people” meaning people who are passionate about similar things, who support you, who challenge you, etc. Think Robin Williams’ definition of “soulmate” in the movie Good Will Hunting: Someone who challenges you.
Etc.
6 The idea that chemical-imbalance-correcting miracle drugs or passive therapy will provide a long-term antidote to depression is pure horseshit. It mocks human agency.
And this is true even for the best psychotherapists and psychiatrists. Yes, talking and learning about yourself can be life-changing, and talking to wise intelligent people can provide eureka moments of clairvoyance for us (so the old saying goes, “10 minutes w/a wise man is worth 10 years of books"), and medication may help some people to some degree, but at a certain point you need to take action to change your life.
7 People have a fundamental desire to embrace their passions (Hari’s words, shared idea).
8 There is a disastrous stigma associated with traditional interventions, especially for young people (or at least some of them…or at least me). I know there is a distinction b/w stigmas w/identifying yourself as depressed, and stigmas w/seeking help – I’m going to focus on the second one here. So, aspects of this stigma/things that contribute to this stigma include, but are not limited to:
-I personally have felt condescended against by many psychotherapists and psychiatrists (and even by MD's who generally have very little training on the matter yet had the nerve to impose "help" on me in a definitive tone of voice), and in general I believe intellectual snobbery is a huge barrier to treatment.
-Many medical professionals seem to believe they have the solution to depression sitting right in their minds, extrapolated from piles and piles of textbooks and years and years of study and observation. Bad news for you guys: you’re wrong. We’re humans, not math riddles. There’s no one solution (nor one set of solutions, nor combination of pills/exercise/talking) for all people – there’s no panacea.
-When I go to a therapist, there’s just this horrible stuffy and lame and passive feel to the whole thing. I just get the wrong vibe.
-I don’t particularly like carrying around therapists' cards and appointment reminders in my wallet.
-If you’re going to set aside time during your day to fight depression, why not spend it doing something you like, rather than sitting in a therapist’s office? Yes, it’s still hard work, but you can focus your efforts where you want them to be, rather than where someone else tells you they should be.
Etc.
9 Traditional interventions were designed top-down. For example (and I know this is an extreme and outdated one), professionals used to diagnose people with mental health illnesses based on how they responded to medication…what a strange reversal…
Why not have college students design solutions for college problems?
Alright, that’s enough for now. I’m sort of hesitant to put down core beliefs as I’ve done here, because it seems to imply that they're the only core beliefs I have, and that they’re unchangeable – NOT the case.
Still, that should give you a primer and some understanding of where we’re coming from when we talk about our solution.
Read the next post for the (current version of the) idea itself.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Sunday, December 20, 2009
On Forgiveness – Intro (Having the courage to forgive yourself)
At one point or another in our lives, most of us have either hated or disliked ourselves, at least to some degree.
The basis for said self-hatred could be something as trivial as a scar on a knee, or something as momentous as your own race, or perhaps something less tangible, like a regretted decision. But unless you were inexcusably well-adjusted, and managed to stay so even through the horror of puberty, you didn’t always like yourself.
There’s something mean, something severe, something downright bully about the human psyche that zeroes in on imperfections.
I’d hazard it’s likely that in my life, I’ve hated myself to an extent that most of you have never even hated anyone else, or any other thing. As often is the case, much of this self-hatred was unjustified and had more to do with my youth and immaturity than anything else.
But there are some major decisions I’ve made that I still regret today.
Learning to forgive yourself is crucial to moving forward with your life.
Part of earning forgiveness is taking action to right your wrongs. This may involve crisis management for an explosive situation, or sucking it up and apologizing when you know you were wrong.
But at a certain point, it becomes entirely internal – it’s all about you. Only you can decide when the time’s come to let go and move on.
My advice to you – if you’re not sure if it’s okay yet to forgive yourself, just go ahead and do it. Life’s too short for such internal squabbles. There’s already so much to deal with on the outside, you can’t afford to rage at yourself on the interior.
Trust Jay-Z on this one:
-Jay-Z in his song “Regrets” on his album “Reasonable Doubt”
I’d like to share with you today a trick I use to strengthen the courage I have to forgive myself. Make no mistake – it takes great courage to forgive yourself for your wrongs, each and every day. But it gets easier with time. Here goes:
I end all of my showers cold. Freezing cold, as cold as the water will get. Once I’m done with the hot part of the shower, I don’t allow myself any hesitation in turning the shower faucet all the way cold. This takes time to be able to do (at least it did for me), and you never really completely lose that desire to stay warm. But it strengthens your will.
I work my way up starting from my feet. Rubbing in the cold water after it hits my body (and I hear this is good for your circulation and your immune system, especially after the rapid switch from hot to cold), I move up to my legs, then back, then chest, then arms. I remind myself to keep breathing and stay loose, because your body’s initial reaction from the initial cool will be to tense up and suspend breathing.
Once I’m done with my body, I finish with my head. I let the freezing cold water rain down on me, eyes closed at first. (If you read my earlier post on faith, now’s not a bad time for some gratitude)
Then, when I’m ready, I open my eyes.
Cold water still rains down on head and face – it takes a little suspension of instinct to do this, because you want to protect your eyes from the water. While this happens, I forgive myself.
I don’t always think of specifics. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But I forgive myself.
Forgiveness is a feeling. For me, it’s feeling alive.
If I’ve done it all right, I feel completely alive. Ready to craft the day with my own hands and mind and heart and will.
I’ve washed away my regrets, knowing that I haven’t avoided them but confronted them.
And I’ve forgiven myself.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
The basis for said self-hatred could be something as trivial as a scar on a knee, or something as momentous as your own race, or perhaps something less tangible, like a regretted decision. But unless you were inexcusably well-adjusted, and managed to stay so even through the horror of puberty, you didn’t always like yourself.
There’s something mean, something severe, something downright bully about the human psyche that zeroes in on imperfections.
I’d hazard it’s likely that in my life, I’ve hated myself to an extent that most of you have never even hated anyone else, or any other thing. As often is the case, much of this self-hatred was unjustified and had more to do with my youth and immaturity than anything else.
But there are some major decisions I’ve made that I still regret today.
Learning to forgive yourself is crucial to moving forward with your life.
Part of earning forgiveness is taking action to right your wrongs. This may involve crisis management for an explosive situation, or sucking it up and apologizing when you know you were wrong.
But at a certain point, it becomes entirely internal – it’s all about you. Only you can decide when the time’s come to let go and move on.
My advice to you – if you’re not sure if it’s okay yet to forgive yourself, just go ahead and do it. Life’s too short for such internal squabbles. There’s already so much to deal with on the outside, you can’t afford to rage at yourself on the interior.
Trust Jay-Z on this one:
This is the number one rule for your set
In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets
On the, rise to the top, many drop, don't forget
In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets
-Jay-Z in his song “Regrets” on his album “Reasonable Doubt”
I’d like to share with you today a trick I use to strengthen the courage I have to forgive myself. Make no mistake – it takes great courage to forgive yourself for your wrongs, each and every day. But it gets easier with time. Here goes:
I end all of my showers cold. Freezing cold, as cold as the water will get. Once I’m done with the hot part of the shower, I don’t allow myself any hesitation in turning the shower faucet all the way cold. This takes time to be able to do (at least it did for me), and you never really completely lose that desire to stay warm. But it strengthens your will.
I work my way up starting from my feet. Rubbing in the cold water after it hits my body (and I hear this is good for your circulation and your immune system, especially after the rapid switch from hot to cold), I move up to my legs, then back, then chest, then arms. I remind myself to keep breathing and stay loose, because your body’s initial reaction from the initial cool will be to tense up and suspend breathing.
Once I’m done with my body, I finish with my head. I let the freezing cold water rain down on me, eyes closed at first. (If you read my earlier post on faith, now’s not a bad time for some gratitude)
Then, when I’m ready, I open my eyes.
Cold water still rains down on head and face – it takes a little suspension of instinct to do this, because you want to protect your eyes from the water. While this happens, I forgive myself.
I don’t always think of specifics. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But I forgive myself.
Forgiveness is a feeling. For me, it’s feeling alive.
If I’ve done it all right, I feel completely alive. Ready to craft the day with my own hands and mind and heart and will.
I’ve washed away my regrets, knowing that I haven’t avoided them but confronted them.
And I’ve forgiven myself.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
On Faith – Intro (Justifying my “weakness”)
Let me freestyle a little today about the quality they call Faith.
The nitpickers and anal people associate it with details and exclusive truths. Let’s sidestep that whole mess for a moment and cut through to the core – the real Truth, if indeed there is any at all.
I believe Faith is personal. It’s direct. There’s no bullshit, no intermediaries, no barriers. It’s about you and how you deal with shit.
Here’s Huston Smith:
“Religion is the call to confront reality; to master the self.”
If you run more with the hip hop crowd, try Talib Kweli:
-Talib in “Around My Way” from his album “The Beautiful Struggle”
I’m going to be up front. Because of certain events in my life – personal events, which I won’t share here – I believe in God.
I’m young, and I’ve only just begun to grapple with this question. I’m not entirely sure I know what it means to believe in God, even what it means for myself. But I do.
I believe in God.
Now, this does not mean I would voluntarily spend time in church, or that I’ll take the time to educate myself about historical interpretations of God, religion, etc. I don’t know anything about the Bible (though I hear it’s a good story), and I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to the subtle (and even the big distinguishing) differences between the major religions of today.
I still curse. I still drink (in moderation). I still have impure thoughts. And occasionally I slack off morally, though only on the micro-scale, of course.
These things are all part of being human. Humans are imperfect.
Past-president Jimmy Carter on human imperfection (from an interview w/Playboy magazine):
"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something that God recognizes I will do--and I have done it--and God forgives me for it."
There is, I think, an entirely simplistic view of religion/spirituality that claims that believing in God entails being perfect, being morally pure, and being righteously against anyone who tries to dilute that.
That’s a lot of absolutes, and not a whole lot of room for absolution. The Calvinists, with their fire and brimstone, and their human depravity and doomsday gloom – well, they seem pretty dumb in hindsight. (sorry if I got their views wrong, it’s been a while)
There’s also an equally simplistic view that believing in God entails being dumb. That it implies weakness. I have several aspiring-scientist friends (and other friends) who hold this view, and who sometimes enjoy verbally kicking other people for their faiths. Also, Bertrand Russell’s essay “Why I Am Not a Christian” does a good job of using cold logic to disprove God.
To be fair, a lot of people who believe in God seem to do so in a thoughtless brainwashed way. Many also believe inconsistently – they are fair-weather/foul-weather believers, and remember their faith at selective times only (for example when asking for help during a difficult time).
But what I do know is that a lot of legit people have believed in God and made active use of their faith to do extraordinary things. Take Ben Carson, for example, Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and the lead surgeon of a team that in 1987 separated a pair of seven-month-old German conjoined twins who were joined at the head – the first such separation where both twins survived. He used his belief in God to turn around a troubled youth (to put it tritely), and he sees God in science.
Ultimately, I guess I care only superficially how other people use their faiths.
Most of all, I care about me.
I know that I use my faith to stay me through troubled times, and to ground me and keep me humble when I manage to succeed.
I don’t ask for help and expect it to fall from the sky. My faith doesn’t put constraints on my ability to think and reason. And it doesn’t impede me from making full use of my own self-agency.
How do I practice my faith? And let me be clear – faith is active, not passive. You won’t get something for nothing. (And paying church fees isn’t worth anything in itself)
I “practice” my faith by expressing gratitude every single day.
In the shower, in my car, on a run – these are all times when I remember how grateful I am for what I have. It really doesn’t take much. Just a quick thank you in my head.
What have I gotten in return?
In a life that has proved highly uncertain so far, and where I can’t often count on much (whether people or situation), I turn to my faith as something that is constant. I draw strength from my faith, and from the knowledge that no one can take it away from me.
How could this possibly be weakness?
I believe that people everywhere going through difficult times - and life is hard, make no mistake about it - people everywhere should be able to draw strength from Faith. And they should do so without worry of being labeled "weak" for having a "crutch."
So there it is. If I had to sum it up now, as I understand it at 20, I’d say that Faith is simply gratitude. That’s what it is most. Being grateful and realizing that you have a chance to do something incredible with your life.
And drawing strength from that awareness.
I hope I haven’t turned off those hard-core atheists out there reading my blog.
I hope you’ll see that I’ve (I think) logically justified something that completely throws logic out the window.
I hope you’ll stay reading as I learn more and live more, and as I explore this explosively controversial thing called Faith.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
The nitpickers and anal people associate it with details and exclusive truths. Let’s sidestep that whole mess for a moment and cut through to the core – the real Truth, if indeed there is any at all.
I believe Faith is personal. It’s direct. There’s no bullshit, no intermediaries, no barriers. It’s about you and how you deal with shit.
Here’s Huston Smith:
“Religion is the call to confront reality; to master the self.”
If you run more with the hip hop crowd, try Talib Kweli:
People let me paint a picture
You know I ain't a christian
I ain't a muslim, ain't a jew
I'm losing my religion
I speak to god directly
I know my god respect me
Cause he let me breathe his air and he really blessed me
-Talib in “Around My Way” from his album “The Beautiful Struggle”
I’m going to be up front. Because of certain events in my life – personal events, which I won’t share here – I believe in God.
I’m young, and I’ve only just begun to grapple with this question. I’m not entirely sure I know what it means to believe in God, even what it means for myself. But I do.
I believe in God.
Now, this does not mean I would voluntarily spend time in church, or that I’ll take the time to educate myself about historical interpretations of God, religion, etc. I don’t know anything about the Bible (though I hear it’s a good story), and I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to the subtle (and even the big distinguishing) differences between the major religions of today.
I still curse. I still drink (in moderation). I still have impure thoughts. And occasionally I slack off morally, though only on the micro-scale, of course.
These things are all part of being human. Humans are imperfect.
Past-president Jimmy Carter on human imperfection (from an interview w/Playboy magazine):
"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something that God recognizes I will do--and I have done it--and God forgives me for it."
There is, I think, an entirely simplistic view of religion/spirituality that claims that believing in God entails being perfect, being morally pure, and being righteously against anyone who tries to dilute that.
That’s a lot of absolutes, and not a whole lot of room for absolution. The Calvinists, with their fire and brimstone, and their human depravity and doomsday gloom – well, they seem pretty dumb in hindsight. (sorry if I got their views wrong, it’s been a while)
There’s also an equally simplistic view that believing in God entails being dumb. That it implies weakness. I have several aspiring-scientist friends (and other friends) who hold this view, and who sometimes enjoy verbally kicking other people for their faiths. Also, Bertrand Russell’s essay “Why I Am Not a Christian” does a good job of using cold logic to disprove God.
To be fair, a lot of people who believe in God seem to do so in a thoughtless brainwashed way. Many also believe inconsistently – they are fair-weather/foul-weather believers, and remember their faith at selective times only (for example when asking for help during a difficult time).
But what I do know is that a lot of legit people have believed in God and made active use of their faith to do extraordinary things. Take Ben Carson, for example, Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and the lead surgeon of a team that in 1987 separated a pair of seven-month-old German conjoined twins who were joined at the head – the first such separation where both twins survived. He used his belief in God to turn around a troubled youth (to put it tritely), and he sees God in science.
Ultimately, I guess I care only superficially how other people use their faiths.
Most of all, I care about me.
I know that I use my faith to stay me through troubled times, and to ground me and keep me humble when I manage to succeed.
I don’t ask for help and expect it to fall from the sky. My faith doesn’t put constraints on my ability to think and reason. And it doesn’t impede me from making full use of my own self-agency.
How do I practice my faith? And let me be clear – faith is active, not passive. You won’t get something for nothing. (And paying church fees isn’t worth anything in itself)
I “practice” my faith by expressing gratitude every single day.
In the shower, in my car, on a run – these are all times when I remember how grateful I am for what I have. It really doesn’t take much. Just a quick thank you in my head.
What have I gotten in return?
In a life that has proved highly uncertain so far, and where I can’t often count on much (whether people or situation), I turn to my faith as something that is constant. I draw strength from my faith, and from the knowledge that no one can take it away from me.
How could this possibly be weakness?
I believe that people everywhere going through difficult times - and life is hard, make no mistake about it - people everywhere should be able to draw strength from Faith. And they should do so without worry of being labeled "weak" for having a "crutch."
So there it is. If I had to sum it up now, as I understand it at 20, I’d say that Faith is simply gratitude. That’s what it is most. Being grateful and realizing that you have a chance to do something incredible with your life.
And drawing strength from that awareness.
I hope I haven’t turned off those hard-core atheists out there reading my blog.
I hope you’ll see that I’ve (I think) logically justified something that completely throws logic out the window.
I hope you’ll stay reading as I learn more and live more, and as I explore this explosively controversial thing called Faith.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Thursday, December 17, 2009
On Joy – Using creativity to find it in obligations
I believe creativity is one of the most undertapped resources of humanity. More creative genius could and should be applied to all aspects of life, from solving the most pressing global challenges of today to making the humdrum grind of life more tolerable, and even enjoyable.
Depression is crisis. Just as there are myriad factors that precipitate any crisis, there will be myriad factors involved in negotiating the hazards of crisis and coming out of it, and coming out stronger for it.
I believe finding joy in the little things is one part of mitigating the crisis of depression.
And I believe using creativity is the best way to do this.
Let me give you an example.
Yesterday morning I drove five hours from Waltham to Jersey to visit my family for two days. The past few days, I’d gotten very little sleep, and the night before I’d even fallen asleep behind the wheel. There’s nothing quite so jolting as taking the ramp for exit 24 off of I-95 and discovering that your car, independent of your own conscious will, has drifted towards the edge of the road and ramped up the raised barrier on the ground. You hear the emphatic frictive force of rubber gripping concrete, slam the brakes, and correct the wheel. Then you make sure to stay the hell awake. Shit.
The point is, I was exhausted when I arrived. But the first thing I did when I arrived was to pick my brother William up from school and take him to Toys R Us (he’s six).
I suppose it wouldn’t be entirely accurate to frame this task as an obligation. After all, I do derive some pleasure from spending time with my brother, mainly because I can already tell he’s smart and creative and cool, and he has the joie de vivre – he’s a good one.
Still, the toy store isn’t exactly where I want to be when I’m severely sleep deprived and in general have very little tolerance for shopping. I hate the fact that toy stores offer you such a wonderful visually stimulating experience, but all for the sake of transferring money from your pocket to theirs. How tainting.
Anyway, my brother is running around the aisles with no regard for anyone, mind occupied with the fantasy of owning every single toy in the damn store. (he actually told me this)
We all know how delightful it is to be at that stage in the decision making process where you have all the delectable options lain right before you, but still don’t feel the pressure to make an actual decision.
Well, I was starting to get pretty annoyed as my brother ran around, entertaining one option after the next, then dismissing each option in turn to pursue the greener pasture. Pokemon cards. No wait, Bakugan. Oh, oh, how about Atlantis legos.
I made it clear to him how I thought all of those toys were pretty dumb, to which he responded with a classic:
"No, you’re dumb!"
Well, patience wearing thin, I wracked my brain for ways I could get Will to hurry up for reasons that would benefit him. How could I incentivize expediency?
And then creative inspiration struck.
I’d pull the old teacher trick: counting down. Except I’d do it in a wonderfully cheerful tone of voice.
“Will, if you don’t make a choice in 60 seconds, I’m not getting you anything.”
Let the countdown begin. 60, 59, 58, 57…
I watched with glee as I saw sheer terror strike my brother’s face. But because I counted down in a delightful voice, it became more of a game than a mandate. I practically sang the numbers, imparting upon them a playful sense of urgency.
Well, to make a longer story short, I watched his mind work 10X original processing speed, and he finally settled on the Pokemon cards with a few seconds left on the clock.
It was hella entertaining.
Moral of the story: use creativity to find joy in the stuff you have to do.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
Depression is crisis. Just as there are myriad factors that precipitate any crisis, there will be myriad factors involved in negotiating the hazards of crisis and coming out of it, and coming out stronger for it.
I believe finding joy in the little things is one part of mitigating the crisis of depression.
And I believe using creativity is the best way to do this.
Let me give you an example.
Yesterday morning I drove five hours from Waltham to Jersey to visit my family for two days. The past few days, I’d gotten very little sleep, and the night before I’d even fallen asleep behind the wheel. There’s nothing quite so jolting as taking the ramp for exit 24 off of I-95 and discovering that your car, independent of your own conscious will, has drifted towards the edge of the road and ramped up the raised barrier on the ground. You hear the emphatic frictive force of rubber gripping concrete, slam the brakes, and correct the wheel. Then you make sure to stay the hell awake. Shit.
The point is, I was exhausted when I arrived. But the first thing I did when I arrived was to pick my brother William up from school and take him to Toys R Us (he’s six).
I suppose it wouldn’t be entirely accurate to frame this task as an obligation. After all, I do derive some pleasure from spending time with my brother, mainly because I can already tell he’s smart and creative and cool, and he has the joie de vivre – he’s a good one.
Still, the toy store isn’t exactly where I want to be when I’m severely sleep deprived and in general have very little tolerance for shopping. I hate the fact that toy stores offer you such a wonderful visually stimulating experience, but all for the sake of transferring money from your pocket to theirs. How tainting.
Anyway, my brother is running around the aisles with no regard for anyone, mind occupied with the fantasy of owning every single toy in the damn store. (he actually told me this)
We all know how delightful it is to be at that stage in the decision making process where you have all the delectable options lain right before you, but still don’t feel the pressure to make an actual decision.
Well, I was starting to get pretty annoyed as my brother ran around, entertaining one option after the next, then dismissing each option in turn to pursue the greener pasture. Pokemon cards. No wait, Bakugan. Oh, oh, how about Atlantis legos.
I made it clear to him how I thought all of those toys were pretty dumb, to which he responded with a classic:
"No, you’re dumb!"
Well, patience wearing thin, I wracked my brain for ways I could get Will to hurry up for reasons that would benefit him. How could I incentivize expediency?
And then creative inspiration struck.
I’d pull the old teacher trick: counting down. Except I’d do it in a wonderfully cheerful tone of voice.
“Will, if you don’t make a choice in 60 seconds, I’m not getting you anything.”
Let the countdown begin. 60, 59, 58, 57…
I watched with glee as I saw sheer terror strike my brother’s face. But because I counted down in a delightful voice, it became more of a game than a mandate. I practically sang the numbers, imparting upon them a playful sense of urgency.
Well, to make a longer story short, I watched his mind work 10X original processing speed, and he finally settled on the Pokemon cards with a few seconds left on the clock.
It was hella entertaining.
Moral of the story: use creativity to find joy in the stuff you have to do.
-David
[nsn_quick_feedback]
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