It seems there are so many external sources of motivation these days. For the young college student, the first few links of the motivational chain may go something like this:
GPA – Recommendations – Internships – Grad/Professional School – Jobs
And so on.
Add to the mix external factors that are less tangible but still exert a strong presence, existing somewhere in the ether: parental approval, societal influences, etc. It can get pretty overwhelming.
Presumably this will all lead to the grand finale: “The good life.” But what does that even mean? What does it mean for you?
The thing about external sources of motivation is that they’re just that – external.
Mangle or knock out one or two links of the chain, and you may end up shafted.
What then?
Even if things go smoothly, many people find themselves discontent with what they have, even years and years after they’ve accomplished everything on “their list,” or at least the list they made taking cues from external pressures.
Hence, the mid-life crisis phenomenon.
Traditionally, we look upon the mid-life crisis as a source of amusement, even hilarity.
But is it really all that funny?
If you think a little deeper, it’s actually pretty tragic. People with an enormous amount of potential channel all of their energies and ambitions into following the links of the chain, and in the process subordinate their individual genius to fit the cookie-cutter standard.
What a fucking waste.
And how utterly lethal to personal growth and health.
If you plan and carry out your entire life according to external sources of motivation, you cheat yourself in the grandest way possible.
You destroy the essence of you.
What drives you? What gets you jazzed? Passionate? Fired up? And on a consistent basis – day in and day out?
These are the questions you must start answering now, and those (evolving) answers are what will stay you through the most difficult of times. That is,
You must find your anchor, and you must find it now.
What will sustain you when life hits you with a grand piano from the 100th story of a skyscraper? (Thanks Looney Tunes, for the idea)
And how do you find this anchor?
The thing about an anchor is that it must be personal – it must come from the inner.
None of this external crap.
To find your anchor, draw upon all of your previous experiences, and really reflect hard on what’s important to you. Then use your imagination, and just go with it.
Know that words and images and memories can be powerful tools.
They can be used both positively and negatively.
I strongly encourage you to dig deep and find your anchor, and to use that anchor as a source of eternal strength.
Fuse together words that are meaningful to you, images that stick with you, and memories that are powerful for you, and use them to motivate yourself, even when you have nothing else left going for you.
Remember that you don’t have to have just one anchor. You can have many, perhaps different ones for different situations.
And don’t feel like you’re being inconsistent if your anchor(s) change over time – that’s perfectly fine, and might even be an indicator that you’re doing a good job of living.
They say that mid-life crises are becoming quarter-life crises these days. Usually, this carries w/it a sort of gloomy doomsday prophecy tone.
I say that this is a great sign. It’s better to grapple with the crucial issues sooner, rather than later (or never at all).
If you are of college age, or near it, and you are going through some really difficult shit, know that now is the ideal time to go through shit.
You have so much time to learn, and so much time to course-correct.
Radical change is possible in the shortest of times.
I know because I did it.
If you’ve made major mistakes in our life, pledge to yourself to learn from them, then forgive yourself and move on.
Keep on making new mistakes, and keep on learning from those too.
Struggle in uncertainty is good. It helps you move toward clarity.
-David
P.S. Read the continuation post for an example of an anchor – one of mine.
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