Pride is a messy concept, and I guess it makes for a somewhat messy blog category too (Shame, Self Worth, Confidence, anyone?).
Top dog on the list of Cardinal Sins (7 Deadly Sins), we hear premonitions about how Pride will lead to your downfall, etc. No one likes an arrogant big-headed jerk unless they are one, right?
That being said, I think there are many things one can do to cultivate a sense of pride in oneself, and that taken together, these (sometimes very small) things can be a powerful antidote to depression.
With this in mind, I’ve decided to start a series of posts on Pride, of which this is the introductory post, where I will share my ideas and tips on how to cultivate a sense of pride in oneself.
For today, though, I’d like to go off track a little, stay more in the realm of the general, and discuss Humility.
There may be some people who think of humility as the converse of pride – who think the two are diametrically opposed.
I strongly disagree (though of course the terms themselves are pretty broad, and at a certain point it might just come to semantics). Let me explain:
For a while now, I’ve recognized an element of humility that I approach all of my endeavors with. This is somewhat difficult to explain, because on the one hand I tend to approach most things with the belief that I can conquer them, at least to a significant degree (and given a lot of hard work and a lot of time).
What I mean to convey is that I hold a tremendous respect, a reverence even, for the challenges I take on. Take acting, for example, a new pursuit of mine.
When I think of myself as an actor, I don’t think of myself as merely someone who is manipulating his body and his voice to achieve a certain desired effect, although that technically could be one way to define what an actor does.
No, I think much bigger than that. As an actor, I think of myself as someone who has the chance to uplift humanity. You know that magical feeling you get when you’re sitting in the theatre and you experience on the screen a moment so real, so true, it hits you strong, deep past just your immediate visual/auditory senses?
As an actor, I think of myself as one of many hopefuls – hopeful to one day earn the chance to create that feeling of magic.
And I am enormously proud to have this opportunity.
But I recognize that all of it together – all that is “Acting” – is far greater than any individual’s prowess or ability. (Even the mad skillz of Daniel Day Lewis. Damn he’s good.)
I recognize this when I think of all the people for whom going to the movies/theatre is their one chance for relief from the hardship of life – their chance for fantasy, for solace from reality. I think of all the brave artists who paved the way for this art form, who worked hard and gave their lives to set up the acting studios and share their expertise through books – to nurture the hopefuls like me. And I think of all the other actors out there who stake their lives on a dream (and wait tables or write on the side). And so on.
When I think about things in this “big picture” kind of way, I experience a tremendous feeling of humility.
And I draw tremendous strength from this humility.
It seems there are a lot of big name celebrities (and other people) these days who are pretty caught up in themselves. Some of these people seem to think they’re a personal incarnation of God.
I don’t actually have any problem with these people – if it helps them perform better to be a conceited asshole, fine by me. I don’t really give a shit, to be honest.
But what does strike me as pathetic about the celebrity God-complex is how much these people seem to rely on the spotlight for their self-worth. What happens if their gift or ability to perform is suddenly taken away (freak accident, etc)? What happens when they get old? When people stop constantly shoving microphones in their face and kissing their ass? What then?
These people have over-inflated senses of pride, and like with all over-inflated bubbles, something will eventually (inevitably) burst (see “Super Bubble”: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90328243). Consequences often aren’t pretty.
If you ground yourself in humility, however, you are invincible to this kind of weakness.
Seriously, if I lost a limb in a car accident tomorrow (and that would pretty definitively preclude me from most roles, I’d say), I’d be pissed, probably even devastated, but my sense of self-worth, my sense of pride – I’m confident all of this would stay strong for me and remain intact. And that’s because I’m aware that in the grand scheme of things, I’m just one more hopeful actor in a slew of them, all of us playing one infinitesimally small role in the vast and illustrious history of all of theatre.
So what if things don’t pan out for me in particular? Things will go on w/o me, and I’ll channel my talents elsewhere.
Knowing I can handle this truth gives me incredible strength.
Humility gives me incredible strength.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to develop this kind of mindset (it took me a long time). And as someone with a pocketful of dreams (shoutout to Alicia Keys), I know very well what it’s like to feel like you’re constantly in revolution on the inside – to feel that explosive desire for the chance to show the world what you’re made of.
But coming to terms with my own insignificance, and my own humility – that has been a great source of strength for me.
And I take great pride in the fact that I’m able to do it - able to stay humble - day in and day out. In my mind, that alone makes me a sweeter human being than a lot of the self-absorbed (sometimes even talented) people out there.
Recently, I started reading Oscar Wilde’s “De Profundis.” When I get the chance to finish it, I’ll put up a post on it (lots of good relevant stuff). But for now, I suggest that you listen to Fort Minor's "Remember the Name" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ska8_JAtL8)
Despite the song’s title, note how even someone w/the ghetto mentality can channel pride into loyalty (to one’s clique) and artistry, rather than money and status.
Note humility for opportunity.
Note how being humble does not preclude you from striving, and how it can actually serve as a strength and a source of pride.
Check back in for more on Pride! Future posts won't be this abstract, I promise…
-David
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