We were both on our ways, but we did stop for a brief exchange of words and kindness. I asked about the state of their kitchen (currently under reconstruction). And she asked about the state of my ventures, at the end of which she offered me the following advice:
“Whatever you do, take notes, because at your heart you’re a writer.”
After we parted ways, I played w/that thought in my mind.
At your heart you’re a writer.
***
Let me tell you something about having little (or no) money: You never stop thinking about it. (At least for me, maybe I’m just a wuss)
You question every purchase – Was this really necessary? Could I have borrowed this from someone?
You veto most purchases in the first place – Alright, this vending machine iced tea is only 1.25, but if I buy this now and then do the same thing 2 other days, that’s like a whole buffet lunch! No, no, I can’t cave…
Then you start running cost-benefit analyses involving subjective things, like time, and things get way complex. (And often self-justifying)
It’s really amazing the number of times you can run through the mental math and still harbor the hope that you should be able to hold out longer than you’ve calculated. You really start to empathize and identify with “creative accountants.”
Slippery slope, no?
The point is, “the money issue” runs through your mind constantly, taking up valuable mental RAM.
Is this really a good thing, given how much other stuff one always seems to have on one’s plate?
Actually, yes.
***
There are myriad factors that precipitate and contribute to depression.
Each factor represents one challenge for you to take on. Sometimes the factors are intertwined, so that by tackling one challenge, you simultaneously tackle another.
The important thing is to constantly apply yourself to solving these challenges. It doesn’t always have to be a big heroic struggle, but every single day you should do at least one small thing to make the day a little better. Don’t let a single day pass without.
Overcoming depression is to some extent just an exercise in problem-solving.
Effective problem-solving requires unceasing attention to the problem at hand. Even if you’re not thinking specifics, meditation on the problem yields invaluable, if sometimes intangible, benefits.
In the words of Alastor Moody, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
In the car, in the shower, on a run, in an uninspiring class/meeting/whatever – these are all times for you to meditate on the issues and challenges that are important to you.
Don’t think rigidly – be creative.
In “The Golden Compass,” when Lyra is learning to use the alethiometer, Farder Coram tells her,
“One thing I do know, Lyra, you mustn’t grasp at the answer. Hold the question in your mind, but lightly, like it was something alive.”
Your question is a live one, and so are you, so think and act like it!
If you get some absurd ideas, don’t be afraid to follow through on some of them. Try them out! You won’t always get the result you want, but sometimes what you do get turns out to be even more valuable than what you were originally aiming for. If nothing else, you’ll have learned something, and perhaps you’ll get a fresh idea from your new experiences.
Hit your problems from every possible angle with everything you’ve got.
***
At your heart you are a writer.
***
I’d thought about being an (out-of-work) writer before. It seems if one is going to try to make a living from “occupations” that seem to champion unemployment (like I am), one might as well be unemployed in all of them simultaneously.
Although I have zero formal training, with hard work I have a feeling I could probably become an okay writer, and I really do get satisfaction from crafting meaning with words.
No, it was never the “out-of-work” aspect that bothered me about writing for a living. It was more the inability to achieve mass meaningful impact, at least for most writers, and at least for the type of writing that you can actually make a living off of.
There’s a reason it’s said about the difference between journalism and literature:
“The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable, and literature is not read”
-Oscar Wilde
But we all have to do things we don’t like sometimes. Compromise is the name of the game when it comes to getting paid.
That night, after running into my friend’s mother, I realized freelance writing is the solution to my money problem.
Sure, writing copy doesn’t often offer much in the way of creative expression, and sure it’s “going commercial” to some extent, but there’s low barrier to entry, and I can do it on the side from wherever I am.
Money. Flexibility. The chance to develop highly efficient writing skills and a broad knowledge base?
Problem solved.
***
You see how much there is to gain from holding the important questions in your mind at all times?
It prepares you for chance, whether chance takes the form of a random encounter, a few words read off a street sign, a song lyric, or anything else that could inspire a useful idea.
Keep the important questions alive in your mind. Parlay serendipity to do the answering for you.
***
Check back in for more thoughts and ideas on Problem Solving! I’m sure I’ll be doing a lot of it as I try to break into the freelance writing scene with zero credentials…
-David
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